You've cast your vote and the polls have closed. What happens now is beyond your control. You could put down your phone instead of doomscrolling. You could turn off the TV instead of watching a harried man poke at random counties on an interactive map. You could do literally anything else but follow election returns.
But you can't. You're a sicko like us.
If you're going to watch, though, you might as well have a good time. That's why we're thrilled to present Phoenix New Times' very own Election Night Drinking Game.
The game covers all the bases. When bad stuff happens, you drink. When great stuff happens, you drink. When weird stuff happens ... you get the idea.
So play along with us (responsibly, of course). While everyone else is stressing out, we'll be floating right along — at least until we puke in the toilet.
Was that because of the tequila or the Electoral College? We'll figure that out Wednesday morning.
Nervous about the election? Our drinking game will help you get through an anxiety-ridden night as we all wait to see who wins.
— Phoenix New Times (@phoenixnewtimes) November 5, 2024
Drown your sorrows — or toast your victories — responsibly. 🥂 pic.twitter.com/XeCyX1ZWe3
