See, Buffalo, you're famous...for allegedly urinating in public.
A group of about six "aliens" invaded the nativist demonstration up at the Macehualli Work Center on Saturday -- actually a troupe of arty open borders activists dressed as aliens and waving signs like "Save Our White Trash Heritage," "Buffalo Rick's Pissed Off," and "Bottle Your Urine to Stop Invasion." The six person crew had obviously read in The Bird or on a previous Feathered Bastard blog post about local bigot Rick Galeener getting cited by the PHX PD for allegedly exposing himself before a mother and her two year old kid. So Saturday A.M., they headed up to Macehualli to lampoon the mostly redneck idgits who've been protesting the site since the beginning of the year.
Alia spoofing the U.S.A. rednecks...
"We're here to do a little spoof on them," explained Alia, a twentysomething gal in blue cowboy boots and big Lindsay Lohan-style sunglasses. "We thought maybe we could undermine the sense of power structure that they have. Just show them for the fools that they are."
Alia, who declined to give her last name, said she and her fellow wacktivists were affiliated with CAROB, which stands for Central Arizona Radicals Opposing Borders. She and her counterdemonstrating cohorts mixed with the anti-immigrant protesters near the corner of 25th Street and Bell Road, all while under the watchful eyes of plainclothes PHX cops, who're there to make sure no violence breaks out.
Hmmm. Maybe Galeener should start wearing one of these here panty liners.
One dude in alien mask, who also declined to identify himself, echoed Alia's sentiments.
"We are here to shed a little light on a very ridiculous situation," the pseudo-extraterrestrial stated through his silvery, bug-eyed mask. "And that is the absolute insanity, the overt racism and the utter senselessness of these minutemen and what they’re trying to express. We just want to make light of it, have a little fun with it."
Asked how the nativists were taking their presence, the otherworldly being seemed surprised they had not received a friendlier welcome from the mostly ill-mannered trailer trash who man and wo-man the nativist brigade.
ET needs a day-job...
"It’s been a little adversarial," ET admitted. "And we’ve been very friendly, too. We came right up to them, we started talking, we asked if we could kind of join in with them, and oh, they were making rude comments. And the odd thing is that all their comments were based upon how we look."
I wondered if any of the snaggletoothed members of Rusty Childress' hatemongering org United for a Sovereign America or his racist bike club Riders U.S.A. had exposed themselves during the day's events. The aliens had to admit they had not.
Bottling your own urine is now a patriotic act.
"And I was hoping for a little water sports…" one fey fellow not in an alien getup admitted.
For their part, the nativists didn't really understand what the aliens were up to, even though they seemed to comprehend that they were being made fun of with signs like, "Inglish Only" (misspelled on purpose, obviously) and "The only place borders should exist is in a panty liner." Asked what they thought of these anarchic aliens, one grizzly geezer babbled incoherently, then said something about the crazy crew being on drugs. Later on, evidently familiar with my work, he persistently challenged me to fisticuffs, but wanted me to throw the first punch with his video camera rolling and the cops nearby. Tempting as it was, I declined the offer.
The geriatric 'tard who wanted to rumble.
Another gray-haired twerp with short-man’s disease got up in my grill, but his bigoted buddies pulled him away before he could start some shit. Pathetic.
When questioned, the rest of the ragged race-warriors there either defended Galeener against the indecent exposure charge, insisting it hadn’t happened, or said Galeener had a medical condition that prevented him from making it to a potty on time. Sorry, Galeener may be handicapped, but he gets around a little too well for that to be his excuse. On Saturday, I saw him vigorously walking up and down 25th with the help of a cane, and he’s always the one hauling around signs and whatnot for the group in his truck. Plus, McDonalds and Taco Bell are nearby. If he’d used his vehicle, he could have been at either in seconds.
Note the sign regarding disease. It's based on a vicious racist lie.
Galeener has an initial appearance on the citation on Tuesday, where he’s expected to plead not guilty. If so, there will be a trial. As commenters to my first post on buffalo chip’s alleged lack of bladder control have pointed out, posters to U.S.A.’s own meet-up site have copped to what Galeener’s done and have joked about it.
If Galeener’s name was Gonzales and was on the other side of this argument, U.S.A. members’d be asking for his hide. No doubt about it. But because he’s one of their own, they defend him. BTW, Galeener stayed far away from me and from the counter demonstrators Saturday. Maybe the guy does have a lick of shame.
The alien chorus singing the ballad of Buffalo Rick.
Before they skedaddled, the aliens formed a chorus and belted out a song dedicated to Mr. Bison Patty, sung to the tune of The Beverly Hillbillies:
Let me tell you all a story ‘bout a man named Rick Got hisself arrested for showin’ his dick Into a bottle he started to pee How was he to know that a woman could see His prick All shriveled Like his heart.
Well the po-po gave Rick a paper citation Now he’s facing a county vacation ‘Cause flashin’ yer pekker is considered a crime Looks like BuffaloRick’ll be doin’ some time Tent City Green boloney The Garfield Gang
Genius. Miss Alia told me they’re thinking about coming out to Macehualli again, and I hope they do, with even more folks and signage. Would be a shame if this reaction to the reactionaries ended up being just a one-off.
Something else, a little tweeter tells me Galeener's going around with a petition to some nearby businesses asking them to support a raid on Macehualli by Sheriff Joe. Thing is, the work center's doing nothing illegal, and Arpaio would have no probable cause for such a raid. But the law and the constitution have never stopped Joe before. Moreover, anyone who'd sign a petition proffered by a human turd who calls nonwhites "monkeys" and allegedly exposes himself in public would have to be considered a blubbering, racist idiot. Though, sadly, there are plenty of those around in Sand Land.
Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.