Micah (left) and Chris (right) welcome me to the par-tay...

AZ Punk Chicks Are Hot!

Your fearless Feathered Bastard ventured forth last night into enemy territory -- the 5th anniversary party for AZPunk.com held at the Stray Cat Lounge in Tempe. This, after my fellow blogger BJK of Ear Infection fame all but called me out and dared me to appear at the soiree, rehashing very, very old beef between myself and the AZPunk posse over booful barstar Katie Rose and man-child/performance-artist Ryan Avery. Anyway, I learned a few things last night: 1) the AZPunk squad didn't beat my ass like they've been promising for oh so long; 2) they've got some fine-ass squalies in that crew; and 3) everybody loves Cheetos.

from "udontknowme" at AZPunk.com
For some reason, I couldn't get any takers.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm glad it was all love up in that bitch, because if I'd had to go Chuck Norris on them hombres, I wouldn't have been able to enjoy a few brew-ha-has with the boys and ogle their wenches while I was at it. Yep, there were some punk dimes in attendance, not the least of which was Larissa, aka "Pet," who I'd met before once at Tranzylvania downtown when she was coochin' it up with the Pussy Posse. Larissa explained to me how she likes to get spanked and sometimes wears a collar with the PP, hence the handle "Pet." There were a lot of other cuties present, but I didn't get all the names. I'd say the chicks outnumbered the dudes by about 60-40, and that's truly a beautiful thing. Ladies, I loved the tattoos, the nose rings, the fishnet stockings and the low cleavage. Keep up the good work!

Sweet Larissa getting felt-up by a hella-hot friend...

I brought AZPunk co-founder Chris a big bag of Cheetos with a ribbon on it as a way of paying my respects to AZPunk's five-year run and their success in building a loyal community of posters to their message board. See, once upon a time, I'd ribbed these keyboard crabasses as being a bunch of cynical losers living with their moms and eating Cheetos in their boxers while tap-tapping their venom into cyberspace! (They had some choice words for me as well.) Chris seemed appreciative of the gesture, and I only wish BJK had been there to see it, but, alas, he was nowhere to be found. Odd, eh?

I palled around with some dude named Dan much of the eve and tried not to let my tongue roll out of my port-hole as I peeped all that purty punk eye-candy. I also talked to Miss Lise McDougall, a sweet AZPunk gal whose sis Angie was hit by a pickup truck last year, dragged 54 feet and left in a coma with numerous injuries. She's out of the coma, but is still dealing with the aftereffects of the trauma. They're having a benefit concert for her Saturday at PHIX, 1113 NW Grand Ave. All ages, six bucks, with BYOW, Nunzilla, and Family Secret. See flyer below, or check out AZPunk.com.

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