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Best Reader Caption For Photo of Arizona's Machine Gun Christmas?

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Last week, in honor of the Scottsdale Gun Club's celebrating the holidays by giving people the chance to have holiday photos taken of their children holding machine guns, we asked our readers to offer suggestions for an appropriate caption for the above photo for this week's New Times' You Write the Caption contest.

We had 40 responses in the comment section of the post, which you can see by clicking here.

We've narrowed it down to five finalists, but only one can win the grand prize: a pay-your-own-way trip to the historic New Times building, a firm handshake, and a lukewarm glass of Phoenix's municipal tap water.

The finalists are as follows:

A) Ross with the following:

"'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, we had offed every mouse. When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Grabbing my Uzi, I took careful aim, what a rush, it was, to kill flying game. Die, Dasher! Die, Dancer! Die, Prancer and Vixen! Die, Comet! Die, Cupid! Bye bye, Donner and Blitzen! As I drew in my head, and was turning around, down the chimney some illegal came with a bound.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, and I laughed when I shot him, in spite of myself! A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, soon gave me to know that he soon would be dead. I heard him exclaim, while I watched him expire, 'but Arpaio assured me, you'd hold your fire!"

B) Maybe368 with "This is the last time this guy calls my wife a Ho..."

C) MGH with "I know what you're thinking... Did he deliver six presents or only five?"

D) Mrs Claus is a Ho! with "Li'l Jimmy smiled for the camera right before he put a cap in Santa's fat ass for placing 'effing' coal in his stocking, knocking his Mom up and eating all the cookies last year!"

E) C Murphy Hebert with "You'll shoot your eye out! You'll shoot your eye out!"

Cast your vote below.


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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.