| Arpaio |

Best Reader Caption For Photo of Joe Arpaio's Geriatric Goon Squad?

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Last week, we asked our readers to offer suggestions for an appropriate caption for the above photo of Maricopa County Joe Arpaio's aging goon squad for this week's New Times' You Write the Caption contest..

We had 80 responses in the comment section of the post, which you can see by clicking here.

We've narrowed it down to five finalists, but only one can win the grand prize: a pay-your-own-way trip to the historic New Times building, a firm handshake, and a lukewarm glass of Phoenix's municipal tap water.

The finalists are as follows:

A) Ross with "Remember, guys, we shake down enough brown people until we find one who is smuggling Viagra from a Nogales pharmacy."

B) Painful Rectal Itch with "All right maggots, crank up your Beltones and repeat after me:

'This is my clipboard. Thare are many like it, but this one is mine. My clipboard is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my clipboard is useless. Without my clipboard, I am useless. I must write on my clipboard. I will. Before God I swear this creed: My clipboard and myself are the defenders of my country. We are masters of our enemy, those who mow our lawns and cook our food. We are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there are no more Mexicans, but peace. Amen.'

C) Phil with "Those with a walker or cane please lean on one of the strong ones next to you or we have braces to hold you; look tough and hold on for just a minute while we snap a quick PR photo..."

D) da beech mon with "Michael Jackson's 'Beat It' (Sun City Remix)."

E) Phoenix Justice with "Wait! This is to arrest brown people? I thought we were doing undercover work at a massage parlor.

Cast your vote below.

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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.