Last week, we asked our readers to let us know what they would say to state Senate President Russell Pearce's sham "candidate," Olivia Cortes, if they bumped into her somewhere and got to tell her to her face what they think of her -- and Pearce's -- sleazy attempt to manipulate Democracy.
We had nearly 60 responses in the comment section of the post, which you can see by clicking here.
We've narrowed it down to five best comments, but only one can win the grand prize in New Times' inaugural Say it to Her Face Contest: a pay-your-own-way trip to the historic New Times building for a firm handshake and a lukewarm glass of Phoenix's municipal tap water.
The finalists are as follows:
A) Eleanor with: "So Ms. Cortes, please explain how they coerced you into being their
little puppet. Was it when they tied you up and spanked you? Or was it
after they all pissed on you and called your their little whore?"
B) Tubes Fan with: "Hey lady, did Russel promise you Eternal Servitude on his planet in the
Celestial Kingdom for doing his bidding? I don't think he can add a
Lamanite to his plural harem, y'know.."
C) Bnbk with: "How many bottles of mouthwash did it take to remove the stench &
taste of RuSSell Pearce's ass from your lips & mouth?"
D) American Citizen with (although, it didn't adhere to the guidelines of the contest, Guest23, it's still funny):
Russell Pearce: Olivia hablas Ingles?
Olivia: No Senor..
Russell Pearce: Well Olivia we need your help in using you as a "sham" candidate. Are you okay with that?
Olivia: Que? Me gane una "Shamm WoW" O si! Que gusto me da! Gracias, Senor Pearce! En donde voy recojo mi premio.
Pearce: My friend will take you the paperwork to sign for us before you
get the prize . Pearce's thoughts as he hangs up the phone"Stupid
Mexican" I gotta make sure she is one of them Messicans from Mexico. He
hangs up the phone and proceeds in calling [right-wing political consultant Constantin] Querard and says,"start the printing, she is in".
Olivia: GAne, Gane, que padre gane un premio.
E) Yourproductsucks with: "Confession of your indiscretions is the only way you will be able to
find peace, Sister Cortes. You have offended many and a public
confession is only appropriate. Repent and you will find peace."
Cast your vote below:
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