Coward of the County Andrew Thomas accompanied by human prophylactic to ASU College Republican event.

Ipso schmucko: Candy never walks alone, even to the loo...

Boy, Republican County Attorney Candy Thomas sure is a real, uh, candy-ass. According to a story this morning on the ASU Web Devil -- the university's online news source, Candy showed up to a College Republican meet-up at ASU last night with a bodyguard, claiming his spouse insisted he travel with paid muscle, lest something untoward happen to him. At a College Republican event? Hey, that's what the man said:

His wife insisted on the precaution after police had to escort him out of a NAU auditorium April 2, Thomas said. The crowd there interrupted a panel discussion and called Thomas a "racist," according to an article in the Arizona Daily Sun.

"There is an intolerance on the left that professors and administrators tolerate, condone and even promote," Thomas said about the incident.

Sheesh, you'd think that NAU crowd Thomas is referring to rushed the stage and tried to throttle the dope. In reality, all Thomas faced up at NAU were a few demonstrators and some tough questions from the audience. The Arizona Daily Sun reported that about a dozen protesters rose from their seats and chanted, "Hey Andrew, you're a racist, we don't like your two faces." This, before a panel discussion on immigration that Thomas was a part of got started.

"Thomas was frequently pilloried by the panelists," Sun staff reporter Hillary Davis wrote in her news short, "and audience questioners for his association with the ardently anti-illegal immigration Joe Arpaio, Maricopa County's sheriff. He remained calm, but denied being a racist. He mentioned his mixed family; he said his Mexican-American wife is the daughter of immigrants. Some attendees audibly rejected this."

Love hearing about Candy's esposa. It's almost like he married the chica just so he could one day point to her and cry, "See, I'm not a racist! I married a brown one." Sorry, Candy, I don't think that's gonna buy you a barrio pass for South Phoenix, should you ever wander down there by accident.

Still, why does this yella-bellied schmucko need a bodyguard, very likely at taxpayer expense, to accompany him on campaign events -- especially to friendly campaign events? Web Devil correspondent Andre Radzischewski reported that Thomas collected signatures to put him on the ballot for reelection while he was at the ASU College Republican event. What, is Candy afraid a deranged ASU GOPer is gonna come after him with an ink pen?

As Bugs Bunny liked to say about Elmer Fudd, "What a maroon..." Thomas even ended his appearance at ASU pretending to be a badass:

With his security guard by his side, Thomas reminded the audience one more time why he may need one.

"All right," Thomas said as he left. "I'm going to go bust some bad guys."

Does Thomas remind anybody else of Frank Burns from M*A*S*H, or is it just me?

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