A face only Herman Munster's wife Lily could love.

Darrell Ankar-low Brow

Darrell Ankarlo's KTAR 92.3 FM morning show is talk radio for people who think Dane Cook's a friggin' comic genius. His shtick is to appeal to the lowest common denominator while seeming reasonable and in possession of some profound mental reservoir of common sense that trumps all comers. Really, he's just another shill for the extreme right, the sort of guy who likes to play veiled racial cues, sans hood.

One morning he might be puckerin' up to the carbuncles on Joe Arpaio's keister, and another he might be extolling the virtues of designer Tasers. Just the other day, I heard him make the argument that Islamofascists may have a point about the U.S., that all we produce is porn and hip-hop. Then he plays hip-hop songs like Ludacris' "Area Codes," with Nate Dogg singing the refrain "I've got hoes in different area codes," decrying such songs as garbage, and sounding sympathetic to the Islamofascists who'd want to eliminate it (and, um, the U.S.) because of such libertine lyrics.

Huh? What about this little thing called freedom of speech, Ankar-low Brow? If you want to live like the Taliban, Dumbass Darrell, go right ahead. In fact, I'll contribute money to help you and yours relocate to Pakistan or Saudi Arabia or some other neck of the woods where they might cut off your hand for bobbin' the bologna or perusing Playboy. I happen to enjoy the freedom to read and view everything from the New Yorker to Hustler magazine, if I so desire. If you don't like it and can't get with the Taliban or al-Quaeda, I'm sure the fundamentalist Mormons up in Colorado City would take you. I mean, you already have the look, dood. Check out a mirror sometime. In your younger days, you looked like a young Gary Busey. Now you look like, well, an old Gary Busey. Ew...

As for hip-hop, and Darrell's ofay jabs at that multibillion dollar industry, allow me to ask one question: Who would you rather kick it with, Snoop Dogg or Darrell Ankarlo? If you picked Darrell Ankarlo, please step this way for your Bud Light Trailer Trash of the Year Award.

BTW, Ankarlo meant to imply that such songs are filth because of their content. But take a look at country or rock, both of which can be just as ribald as hip-hop. So why single out hip-hop as an abomination? Could it be that Ankarlo's playing the race card? Well, he did lump Britney Spears into the mix too, so maybe that saves him a bit. Still, Ankarlo loves baiting other races and ethnicities, and was well-known for it in Dallas on 570 KLIF AM, though mostly against Mexicans. His tone is still a bit on the soft and subtle side here in AZ so far, as if he's testing the waters.

(For a blast, sample this clip of Ankar-low Brow as a YTMND, http://ankarlo.ytmnd.com/. and if you don't know what a YTMND is, Wikipedia will explain.)

Recently, the Reverend Jarrett Maupin was on Ankarlo's show and cleaned the radio lunkhead's clock, mainly by not falling for Ankarlo's trick questions, and answering every Ankarlo assertion of almighty truth with a retort that practically had Ankarlo chewing the carpet. Ankarlo came off as snide, supercilious and petty. Whereas the much younger Maupin seemed poised, classy, and uncowed.

Check these grubby little insults Ankarlo let fly at Maupin, usually while breaking for commercials or as Ankarlo was changing the subject:

About Maupin's title, "And I know for five bucks, I could become a preacher..."

Or concerning his mentors, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, "By the way, when we come back, Reverend, can you tell me, did Al or Jesse ever have a job in their life other than to be an activist?"

Compared to what, I was thinking while listening to Ankarlo, running your mouth for a living? You call that a job, Lurch-chin?

But Maupin got the best of Ankarlo, even though Ankarlo kept interrupting him and torturously trying to paint him into some rhetorical corner. Maupin was on the show to talk about his effort to block the Superbowl coming to Glendale in '08 if something's not done in AZ to redress the injustices of Prop 300. At one point, "Ambush" Ankarlo tried this BS he pulls where he asks for a yes or no answer to a question, this time whether Maupin agreed with raising the minimum wage and The Governator's push in CA for universal health care.

Maupin said yes, then Ankarlo, gloating, jumps in with this childishness:

"Hey, guess what? Guess what? Corporate America, that big nasty culprit is the one who will pay for both of those, because..."

Maupin interrupts, "It's about time."

To which, Ankarlo was apoplectic and could barely contain himself. A sec later, Ankarlo spouts off this cheap appeal to white pride:

"Martin Luther King Day -- that's what they wanted. They wanted Martin Luther King Day in Arizona. It's celebrated in Arizona. So that whole, 'Oh, we're not living up to the dream' -- that's subjective...You can never win a subjective argument ever because everybody's got a different opinion about it."

What's all this "they" shit? It's like he's saying, "What are all these blacks complaining for -- they have MLK Day, what else do they want?"

Recently KTAR started this "KTAR Cash" promotion where they're giving away $92.30 to listeners every hour, which makes it seem like KTAR's big gun from Texas is shootin' blanks and needs the boost, the financial incentive for listeners to pay attention to his jerk-off Jeremiads

Basically, he's just another talk radio douchebag, but I plan to keep an eye on him, and when he pulls a boner or says something retarded (an almost hourly occurance now), I'll let you know so you don't actually have to listen to him. He's got a very annoying voice, especially when he raises it to this goofy level to try to sound cool. Needless to say, I can't stand the guy.

RELATED--Ankarlo Kisses Arpaio's Ass

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