For her part, Roberts tut-tuts New Times over the story, calling it "a bit of a yawner."

Hmm, an "all American" governor-wannabe with family members in organized crime?

You're so right, Laurie. Bor-ring.

But Roberts is intrigued enough to at least put forward one query.

"I asked DeLaney whether Ducey got any of his [Cold Stone Creamery] start-up funds from any of the four relatives mentioned in the article or as a result of criminal activity," she writes.

"[DeLaney's] answer: `No, absolutely not.'"

Well, that settles that.

I mean, it's not like Ducey's ever misled anyone about the details of his family tree.

He told us his dad was a cop. (True.) That he's the product of solid Midwestern values. (Debatable.) That his maternal grandparents taught him the importance of family. (Hilarious.)

He just omitted an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weenie bit of information.

After all, he just wants to be chief executive of the state.