On Saturday afternoon, a drunk Phoenix man thought going into his house to urinate would cut into his busy schedule of doing yard work and drinking beer -- so he pissed on his lawn and now is charged with three felonies.
According to court records obtained by New Times, 59-year-old Timothy George Evans was arrested Saturday for urinating on his own lawn. The plot thickens, however, because as he did it, a woman with five kids in her car drove by.
The woman and three of the kids later told police that they saw Evans standing in the lawn holding his penis with both hands.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
Evans doesn't dispute the claim. He told police he did urinate on his lawn but only because he "didn't want to waste time" going into his house to do it.
Because three of the people who saw Evans pissing on his lawn were under 15 years old, Evans was hit with three felony counts of indecent exposure, as well as one misdemeanor count.
The penalty for felony indecent exposure in Arizona can include jail time, probation, restitution, fines, and most damning, registration as a sex offender.
We don't condone pissing in your front lawn where people could potentially see you, but to dub someone who does this a sex offender? Come on...