There's a new candidate for the world's dumbest, alleged criminal: 37-year-old Honandez Simmons.
Simmons was arrested early this morning after he was found in the parking lot of a Mesa shopping center picking up change.
Picking up change in a parking lot is not illegal, as far as we know, but the change fell out of a cash register Simmons was carrying that happened to have been stolen from a nearby beauty salon.
"That's what we call suspicious," Mesa Detective Steve Berry jokes.
Berry tells New Times that officers got two calls after burglar alarms were triggered at two different businesses on Main Street in Mesa.
It seems Simmons tried to break into one store, failed, and then broke into the one next door.
Apparently nobody explained to Simmons that the cash can come out of the register because when police responded they found him -- and the register -- in the parking lot of the business.
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Don't think it doesn't get even better, because it does.
Simmons had a bike with him at the time he was arrested with the stolen cash register. It was the same bike that was reported stolen from a pawn shop in the area the night before.
Simmons doesn't just take things from burglary scenes, though, he apparently leaves stuff, too -- like his DNA, which police found at another burglary that happened a few months ago and were able to match to Simmons.
Berry says it's likely Simmons will be charged in those burglaries, as well.