Emergency preparedness: how to survive in Arpaio’s jails

By John Dickerson

The best way to avoid rancid “mystery meat” in Arpaio’s jail is to claim you’re Hindu and need a vegetarian diet. That’s precisely what inmate Shaun Attwood did. He lists this and other gems of jail survival on his blog.

If you're steering clear of the slammer, you can print the tips and mail them to your incarcerated loved ones. If they can't make bond, these tips might keep them from bonding undesirably with other inmates. Besides, you never know when "America's Toughest Sheriff" might arrest innocent folks like yourself (or say the owner of a newspaper) for no good reason.

Other Maricopa County jail tips include wrapping a towel around your face during riots (because everyone gets maced) and being the last to sit in the cafeteria on your first day (so you don’t get pummeled or sit at another race's table).

New Times named Atwood’s blog the “Best Prison Blog” in 2005. Since then, more than 400,000 readers have visited his online journal. New as of today is the video version of Atwood’s jail survival tips, available here on YouTube.

“Best Prison Blog” wasn’t the first time New Times mentioned Atwood – a British stockbroker turned rave god. We detailed the collapse of his Phoenix rave empire, back in 2002.

Attwood now says he ran Phoenix's underground rave scene for a few years, complete with piles of ecstasy and Ketamine. You can learn more about his life now on his personal Web site.

KEEP PHOENIX NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
John Dickerson
Contact: John Dickerson