Funktified Friday

Page 3 of 3

"What do you look for in a chick?" I wonder.

"Great boobs and great conversation," my new bi-buddy says. "Otherwise, I might make out with her, but I won't do anything else. If she has no brain at all, it's just irritating."

"Hey, guys, did I miss anything?" quizzes the J-unit, back from the bog.

I glance at Jett, then Laine: "You know, Melissa, all of a sudden, I couldn't agree with you more."

KEEP PHOENIX NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Stephen is a former staff writer and columnist at Phoenix New Times.
Contact: Stephen Lemons