| Animals |

Hundreds of Lobsters "Murdered" at Tucson Event After PETA-Endorsed "Humane" Killing Method Falls Through

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A new device developed by a British inventor supposedly kills lobsters "humanely" before they're cooked.

But when PETA attempted to bring the device to Arizona last weekend for a lobster bake fundraiser for the Child and Family Resource Center in Tucson, things didn't quite go according to plan and PETA was forced to sit back as hundreds of lobsters hit the boiler the old fashion way -- alive.

PETA paid thousands of dollars to have two "CrustaStun" machines flown in from Great Britain, as well as the inventor of the device, Simon Buckhaven, and his wife.

The "CrustaStun" is basically a taser for lobsters. It sends an electric charge into the crustacean, killing it within five seconds so the critters don't feel any "pain or distress" when they're cooked. Unlike a free pot of boiling water, this thing costs about $3,500.

PETA was so excited about the device that it held a press conference the Friday before the event, where Buckhaven was to demonstrate how the device worked on a plastic lobster.

One problem: The "CrustaStun" never showed up.

"There was an unforeseen customs delay, and the CrustaStun didn't make it in time," says PETA spokeswoman Lindsey Wright.

Wright says PETA reached an agreement with the organizers of the fundraiser to have all the lobsters killed with the "CrustaStun" to prevent the animals from having a "slow, agonizing, painful death."

When people started getting hungry, that agreement no longer applied and a lobster holocaust began to take shape.

PETA found itself helpless to the appetites of the people at the fundraiser and was forced to sit back as hundreds of lobsters were boiled alive.

This isn't PETA's first loss in its battle to rescue these delicious animals. 

Frequent Valley Fever readers may recall a post we had this past July entitled "Animal-Rights Groups Scream (Crustaceans Are "individuals," Too), as "Lobster Claw" Games Catch On in Valley Bars."

The story reported that animal-rights groups are whining about a new game found in Valley bars, where lobsters are scooped up with a mechanical crane, boiled to perfection, and eaten by the lucky winner.

The story featured the following quote from Lindsey Wright: "Incarcerating lobsters in filthy crowded tanks in noisy bars, before boiling them to death, is as reprehensible as doing it to a dog or cat. It's a cruel game where the lobsters always lose."

Hey Lindsey -- all this money and effort to save lobsters is adorable and everything, but keep this in mind next time PETA spends thousands of dollars to spare a lobster a few seconds of "pain": It's just fucking food.

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