Jan Brewer Wants to "Live in America," and So Do the Grass "Ruts"

Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Phoenix and help keep the future of New Times free.

Brewer declares her desire to live in America, 4:24 in. (Psst, so do "illegals," Jan)

When you're Governor Jan "We have did" Brewer, how do you top yourself on the gaffe-meter following that September 1 brain freeze during the Channel 8 debate? The reality is, with a flub like that, there's nowhere to go but up.

Even the recent revelation that the Guv hearts scotch or wine or Everclear or whatever it was she was sucking down back in 1988 that caused her to fail four field sobriety tests is kinda endearing. Just like Ben Quayle's sordid scribblings for The Dirty.com

'Cause porn and booze are cool, dudes. Stupidity, not so much. But if the AZ Dems were so durn smart by comparison, they wouldn't be faced with eradication in less than 24 hours.

So the fact that Jan Brewer wants to "live in America," and pronounces "roots" like a hillbilly, that's just no biggie here in Sand Land.

"We want to live in America!" Jan tells the Ahwatukee-ans about 4:24 in. "We want our Arizona back! We want our freedom!"   

You know, freedom from intelligence, reason, common sense, compassion, prudence, racial harmony, ethnic diversity, fiscal responsibility and modern dentistry.

Actually, wrong-way Jan is right again. Because if there's one thing I agree with her on, it's that Arizona is not America. 'Specially not America in the 21st Century.

Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.