Pardon the pun, but while we hate to beat a dead horse in regard to Senate hopeful J.D. Hayworth's recent comments that gay marriage could somehow lead to humans marrying horses, we tracked down a local "zoo-sexual" who takes offense at the former congressman's comments for a completely different reason than the mainstream public.
For anyone who may have missed it, about three weeks ago, former Congressman Hayworth told a Florida radio station that the "only way" to keep men from marrying horses was through a federal marriage amendment.
As a result, the gay and lesbian communities went nuts, but we found a member of another "movement" who is equally outraged.
Cody Beck is a 19-year-old college student from Prescott and the subject of a feature in New Times' sister paper Broward/ Palm Beach New Times.
We spoke to Beck last night, and he tells us that while he's been sexually and romantically attracted to horses since he was about 11 years old, he has no interest in "legally" marrying one. He says Hayworth's "slippery slope" argument is absurd.
"For one thing, it really bothers me that there's a correlation between the homosexual movement and zoo-sexual movement," he says. "These are two completely separate movements."
Beck says Hayworth's suggestion that "zoo-sexuals" are even interested in legally marrying horses -- or any other animal -- is crazy.
What's the matter, Cody, some lil' filly break your heart?
"You could have a ceremony and nobody is going to come in and arrest you," Beck says. "But why would I want to legally marry an animal? There's no benefit -- they have no income, they don't need tax cuts."
Beck went on to make an excellent point that Hayworth seems to completely ignore: Animals don't even know what the fuck marriage is, and therefore can't legally, or physically, sign the paperwork to even enter into it -- a point we made in a prior post on the subject.
"I don't think animals even understand the concept of marriage," he says.
You "don't think"?
Beck says, while he's not currently seeing any equine, he hopes to in the future, and his vision of man/horse companionship is: "They'd live with you. You'd love them, they'd love you."
Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.