Welcome to justice in America, where it doesn't even seem odd that you can admit to police that you committed a crime, then admit it on television, then go before a judge and say, wasn't me.
That's the route 32-year-old Kristopher Harvey took today, pleading not guilty today to charges related to forcing his sons to drink liquor shots until they were crying, screaming, and vomiting in their underwear.
This incident allegedly took place in Surprise earlier this month, and according to court documents previously obtained by New Times, Harvey told the cops he was "just trying to teach his boys a lesson."
Harvey was trying to teach that lesson to his sons, ages 13 and 14, because his girlfriend found out that the boys had consumed some of pops' alcohol last week.
When the girlfriend came home later that evening, she asked Harvey what was going on with everyone in the household being drunk, and Harvey said he was teaching the boys a lesson by making them drink shots of hard liquor.
"[Harvey] had the boys in the backyard and advised them they were not allowed to come back into the residence until they finished their shots," court documents state. "[Harvey] began throwing both boys in the pool while intoxicated."
A neighbor called the cops after hearing the boys screaming and crying in the backyard and also thought he heard a smacking noise, as if someone was being hit.
Harvey came outside when the cops showed up, and appeared to be "highly intoxicated," giving police the line about trying to teach the boys a lesson, according to the documents.
Cops went inside the house to check on the two boys, who were both "in their underwear crying and screaming."
One of the boys, who was attempting to upchuck his alcohol into the toilet, told the cops their father had made them consume all the shots.
Police described both boys as "highly intoxicated," and note that the one boy successfully threw up before fire personnel arrived.
Through interviews with Harvey, his girlfriend, and another friend, police say they found out the boys actually live with their grandmother in California, and they were just in town to visit their father.
Things went south after Harvey got word that they had consumed some of his alcohol earlier in the week.
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Harvey pleaded not guilty to two felony child-abuse charges.
The video below should explain how not guilty he is:
Of course, he's probably looking for that plea deal, but it's a strange thought nonetheless.