Somebody mailed animal poop to the county attorney’s home

Maricopa County Attorney Rachel Mitchell is quite often full of crap, metaphorically speaking. But now she has a really stinky situation on her hands — discovering the identity of the anonymous prankster who mailed her a plastic baggie full of brown squishy stuff purporting to be animal poo.

On Feb. 14, the Phoenix Police Department dispatched two officers to Mitchell's home to investigate the alleged excrement, according to an incident report obtained by Phoenix New Times. The report states that the fecal material was in a white envelope addressed to Mitchell from an "A.S. Enterprises" in Allison Park, Pennsylvania.

The U.S. Postal Service delivered the package to her mailbox on Feb. 12, per the report, which states that Mitchell's "husband," Paul Stout, retrieved the package. Stout has previously identified himself as Mitchell's fiancé — an admission he made under oath last year, during a court hearing in which he admitted to using burner social media accounts to attack Mitchell’s critics.

Mitchell has refused to comment on their relationship and has not responded to a request for poop-related comment from New Times. But she was more forthcoming with the local constabulary.

"Rachel stated that she and her husband went to dinner last night, and when they got home, her husband told her there was a package at the door," the report reads. "After bringing it inside, she opened it and found the bag."

Mitchell advised police that after some online research into A.S. Enterprises and poop — here’s hoping she used incognito mode — she discovered that there is a website where people can anonymously send caca to someone as a joke. "She found that the sender can even select the type of poop they send," the report states. The police do not identify the site, but various sources online, including complaints to the Better Business Bureau, identify A.S. Enterprises as being associated with the site PoopSenders.com.

The site identifies itself as the "ultimate gag gift" and "sweet revenge at its finest," perfect for your ex-spouse, that "mean boss" at work or the teacher who gave little Johnny an “F” in arithmetic.

Or that special county attorney in your life.

As Mitchell told police, pranksters can choose "cow dung," "elephant crap," "gorilla poop" or the "combo pack," described as "all three in one big nasty mess." But the authenticity of the goods may be suspect, given a statement on the company's FAQ page about whether its shit is real.

"Only the mad scientist that packs this stuff in the back room knows for sure and he wouldn't tell us, but we do know this, it really smells bad back there, he is mixing up shit, and he does visit the local dairy farm and zoo about twice a week,” the site reads. “(We also don't want the delivery company to actually know what kind of shit they're delivering.) We can assure you that it looks nasty and really stinks. It will get the point across to your intended victim."

Poop Senders did not respond to a request for comment, but the Phoenix police report states that officers contacted a local U.S. postal inspector, who advised them that "it was a prank website that people can use to send 'fake poop,' with no way to track it." The report notes that the USPS "declined investigation due to the prank."

Mitchell, however, told Phoenix police that she desired prosecution and provided footage from her home's Ring cameras. The report states that police are investigating the incident for the possible offense of "harassment by communication," though no statute is cited.

Cutting the Crapola

But who — oh who? — would want to anonymously mail the county attorney a breadless shit sandwich? Other than everyone her office has prosecuted, that is.

Asked this question, Mitchell told the cops that "off the top of her head," there was this "suspended attorney named Vladimir Gagic," who had been harassing her husband, though Gagic "still believes him to be her fiancé." Gagic was the only person Mitchell mentioned by name, though she also said her office "recently had to turn down an animal abuse case" that angered some people and that there had been "pro-Palestinian groups protesting," likely a reference to her office charging protesters at Arizona State University with trespassing.

She also complained about a silver SUV she believed had been stalking the house and provided the license plate number to police, according to the police report. The cops ran the plate. Gagic is not the vehicle's owner.

Reached by phone, Gagic denied he had anything to do with Mitchell's mierda and said he has not been contacted by the police over the (fecal) matter. But given his ongoing legal feud with Stout — which New Times reported on last year — Gagic's not surprised Mitchell name-checked him to police. "I'm living inside her head now — apparently rent-free,” he cracked, saying that Mitchell dragging him into it is par for the course.

"She calls the cops for fucking fake poop. Really?" he asked. "Is that the best use of law enforcement resources in the county?"

Last year, Stout and Gagic were involved in a prolonged verbal smackdown on X, where Gagic began speculating that Stout had been sparring with him under various sock-puppet identities. With Mitchell's assistance, Stout filed an injunction against harassment on Gagic, claiming he was intimidated by Gagic's caustic posts and Gagic's dare to possibly meet him for fisticuffs.

Gagic unsuccessfully challenged the injunction at a hearing in September, during which Stout admitted to using burner accounts on X to lob insults at Mitchell's political rivals and critics. Gagic appealed the lower court's decision to uphold the injunction, but the appellate court has yet to rule.

Meanwhile, Stout's been busy kvetching to the cops about Gagic insulting him on X. Stout also complained to the police when a New Times reporter called Stout asking for a comment. For her part, Mitchell has demanded that the State Bar of Arizona disbar Gagic, though Gagic was suspended by the bar in 2023 and is unlikely to be allowed to practice law again.

Gagic first learned of the poo-mailing after requesting all police reports mentioning his name. He cited the report in an April 19 filing with the Arizona Court of Appeals in which he accuses Stout of being the scat-sender in an effort to frame him. Stout has failed to file an answering brief in the matter, but the appeals court declined to rule in Gagic's favor on that basis.

"Stout expects the court to sit on my appeal forever," Gagic writes in his filing, "thereby denying my right to justice and due process."

Stout has not responded to a voicemail message from New Times seeking his side of the story.