At the end of the week, we bring you a roundup of visitors to the desert's own Fourth Avenue Jail. To be considered for our Maricopa County mugshots of the week, get arrested, strike a pose, and we'll take care of the rest.
This week, it seems pretty clear how the cops were able to identify these suspects. Enjoy.
If you asked this guy what planet he's on, he'd probably need three guesses.
Never leave home without a helmet.
Charges: Dangerous-drug possession, possession of drug paraphernalia
In case you need to identify him from satellite mode in Google Maps.
Charges: Aggravated DUI
Charges: Criminal trespassing
Where on earth was this guy trespassing? A coal mine, after swimming a few laps in a dumpster?
Charges: Narcotic-drug possession, possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of marijuana
Street Name: Blue's Clues
Charges: Forgery, criminal impersonation
Criminal impersonation, huh? "Hello, my name is Count Dracula . . . "
Charges: Shoplifting, possession of drug paraphernalia
Not sure if this guy fell asleep face-first into a notebook he was doodling on, or if that's the world's dumbest collection of forehead tattoos.
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SHOW ME HOW
Charges: Dangerous drugs for sale, possession of a weapon by a prohibited person, possession of a weapon in a drug offense, dangerous-drug possession, possession of drug paraphernalia, failure to pay a fine
Yes, you read that correctly: "Fuck cops." Notice just above it, he tried to cover up another tattoo that almost certainly says "Fuck Jews." There's one person you should be blaming for your horrible life, and -- spoiler alert -- he's not a cop or a Jew.