Audio By Carbonatix
Just about every week, we bring you a roundup of visitors to the desert’s own Fourth Avenue Jail. To be considered for our Maricopa County mugshots of the week, get arrested, strike a pose, and we’ll take care of the rest.
This week, our alleged criminals look like those people, if you know what we mean. Like, when you see a guy walking out of a public restroom, and you say to yourself, “I bet he’s one of those people who don’t wash their hands after using a public restroom.” Enjoy.
Charge: Disorderly conduct
People who are still cruising for chicks in Old Town Scottsdale at 2:30 a.m. on Wednesday.
Charges: Robbery, dangerous-drug possession, possession of drug paraphernalia
People who will call you on the phone, tell you you’re going to die in seven days, then crawl out of your television set.
Charge: Narcotic-drug possession
People in a folder on my hard drive called “Pictures of people who kind of look like Ray Liotta, if you look at them at a certain angle.”
Charges: Aggravated DUI, failure to appear, driving on a suspended license
People who should file federal lawsuits against hair stylists.
Charge: Criminal damage
People from Phoenix. Duh.
Charges: Failure to comply with a court order, disorderly conduct, aggravated domestic violence, unlawful imprisonment, criminal damage
People who turn every building they enter into a mandatory evacuation zone.
People who like funny jokes.
Q: Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
A: Because the “p” is silent.
Charge: Narcotic-drug possession, possession of drug paraphernalia
People who own Apple computers.
Charges: Assault, criminal damage, failure to appear
People who can hide barnyard animals on their head.
