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Mormon Magazine: Quit Energy Drinks Now and Avoid Being Slain by the "Destroying Angel"

If you know anything about Mormons, it's that they typically avoid coffee and other products with caffeine. Yet many Mormons recognize that caffeine isn't exactly heroin, and there appears to be a healthy debate within the Church of Latter Day Saints over the use of the drug.

 
In the wake of an explosion of energy drinks in recent years that even has some mainstream scientists concerned, Mormon doctor writes in this month's copy of the Ensign -- the official magazine of the Salt-Lake-City-based church -- that overuse of the stimulant used by an estimated 90 percent of North Americans cause brittle bones, rage and even death.

While the good doctor may be right in that overdoing caffeine could lead to serious ailments, his extensive list of possible problems seems to be culled from every potentially negative article every written about the drug. Naturally, the biased Dr. Thomas Boud doesn't include a single word about the possible benefits of caffeine, which may be extensive. That seems pretty deceptive for a publication some gullible Mormons believe is inseparable from biblical Scripture.

Some of those sickly sweet energy drinks taste like crap, but we highly doubt that downing one will result in an execution by the Almighty.

However, Dr. Boud's article seems to imply that's exactly what could happen. Without a hint of sarcasm, the doc relates the "glorious blessings" that are bestowed on people who follow the Mormon Doctrine and Covenants, which Boud believes supports the limit -- if not prohibition -- on caffeine use.

One of those blessings is that "the destroying angel shall pass by them, as the children of Israel, and not slay them." Boud goes on to write, "How marvelous these promises are, that we may walk and not faint and run and not be weary and that the destroying angel will pass us by!"

Um, yeah. Marvelous. -- Ray Stern

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Ray Stern has worked as a newspaper reporter in Arizona for more than two decades. He's won numerous awards for his reporting, including the Arizona Press Club's Don Bolles Award for Investigative Journalism.