Ah, the glamorous life of the highway patrol officer. You get to deal with situations like the naked wrong-way driver from California who chose to attack your cruiser before rolling his car, with his 4-year-old son inside.
Such was the scene about 15 miles south of Flagstaff on the northbound side of Interstate 17 Sunday morning.
This is what greeted the still unnamed trooper there at milepost 325 at 8:17 a.m., according to a vividly headlined Arizona Department of Public Safety press release.
It said the trooper pulled up behind a black BMW sedan blocking the fast lane. Just then, a nude man darted toward the patrol officer’s SUV and started banging his fists on it. Repeatedly.
The trooper drove
Naked Guy jumped into the
Naked Guy’s skill behind the wheel took him into the shoulder, back into oncoming southbound traffic, then right across the median back into northbound traffic. Then, he disappeared out of sight from the trooper, who couldn’t give proper chase in a banged-up SUV.
Such was the prowess of Naked Guy, that he got a full five miles more before hitting a rock embankment and rolling him, his 4-year-old son, and his Beemer.
There, DPS met him with a few questions and a friendly escort for him and his son to Flagstaff Medical Center. Both were treated for minor cuts and bruises and released.
Naked Guy has a name, and now a criminal charge.
The naked man from Westminster, California, not far from Disneyland, also has a case file opened at the Arizona Department of Child Safety. The boy’s mother met her son at the hospital and took him away from what was clearly not the happiest place on earth.
Meanwhile, the trooper, a 16-year veteran went home to recuperate.
You can imagine the conversation when the spouse or significant other met the trooper at the door with a kiss.
“Hi honey, how was your day?”
A shake of the head, a grunt, something muttered about another day at the office.
"Why are you home early?”
The trooper thrusts out a piece of paper.
It’s the press release that will go out later: “Naked Father Pummels Patrol Vehicle with Fists and His Vehicle While Son was On-Board.”
Where can we volunteer?