In a seemingly meager attempt to impress, the Vernon Parker Exploratory Committee issued a press release today about some "interesting" new poll results for the 2010 gubernatorial election.
Before reading the release, we thought, "Hey, maybe junior's got a shot."
Then, we read it and were left scratching our heads, wondering why the hell Parker's campaign would release this information under the auspicious ruse of good news.
The poll, which was released yesterday by the real estate group NAIOP, pits Parker against five possible Republican gubernatorial candidates, and if it were a horse race, Parker wouldn't even show.
The likely candidates gauged in the poll: Governor Jan Brewer, Valley businessman Robert Graham, Secretary of State Ken Bennett, Tucson lawyer and former GOP boss John Munger, State Treasurer Dean Martin and, of course, Paradise Valley Mayor and new kid on the block Parker.
Somehow, despite repeated success in failing to be popular within her own party, Jan still comes out on top.
The poll shows Brewer at 16 percent, Martin at 14 percent, Graham with 9 percent, Parker at 7 percent, Bennett with 6 percent and Munger, who was recently endorsed by political kryptonite Fife Symington, with 3 percent.
Whoever the GOP candidate ends up being, he or she wil probably face Attorney General Terry Goddard in the general election, where recent polls indicate he would trounce whoever the GOPers throw at him.
Don't worry, Parker's got a plan.
"Republicans will not beat a career politician like Terry Goddard with another one from the GOP," Parker says in a statement. "We need a fresh voice, new message, and someone who can fight on Terry's turf rather than he on ours."
Did we say plan? We meant industry-standard political rhetoric. Sorry for the confusion.
Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.