In a seemingly meager attempt to impress, the Vernon Parker Exploratory Committee issued a press release today about some "interesting" new poll results for the 2010 gubernatorial election.
Before reading the release, we thought, "Hey, maybe junior's got a shot."
Then, we read it and were left scratching our heads, wondering why the hell Parker's campaign would release this information under the auspicious ruse of good news.
The poll, which was released yesterday by the real estate group NAIOP, pits Parker against five possible Republican gubernatorial candidates, and if it were a horse race, Parker wouldn't even show.
The likely candidates gauged in the poll: Governor Jan Brewer, Valley businessman Robert Graham, Secretary of State Ken Bennett, Tucson lawyer and former GOP boss John Munger, State Treasurer Dean Martin and, of course, Paradise Valley Mayor and new kid on the block Parker.
Somehow, despite repeated success in failing to be popular within her own party, Jan still comes out on top.
The poll shows Brewer at 16 percent, Martin at 14 percent, Graham with 9 percent, Parker at 7 percent, Bennett with 6 percent and Munger, who was recently endorsed by political kryptonite Fife Symington, with 3 percent.
Whoever the GOP candidate ends up being, he or she wil probably face Attorney General Terry Goddard in the general election, where recent polls indicate he would trounce whoever the GOPers throw at him.
Don't worry, Parker's got a plan.
"Republicans will not beat a career politician like Terry Goddard with another one from the GOP," Parker says in a statement. "We need a fresh voice, new message, and someone who can fight on Terry's turf rather than he on ours."
Did we say plan? We meant industry-standard political rhetoric. Sorry for the confusion.