Wanna-be Arab, a.k.a. El Libanés
You're not one of those idiot Chicanos who ridiculously, insultingly compares the plight of Mexicans in the United States to that of the Palestinians in their homeland, are you? I can't tell for certain if you have Middle Eastern genes without a DNA sample, and I'm not interested in obtaining one from tu unless you're a chica with bouncy double-Ds. But your chances that the sangre of the Levant courses through you veins is more likely than gabachos may think. As you noted, Lebanese did migrate to Mexico throughout the 20th century and contributed to the patria in ways both positive (tacos al pastor, Salma Hayek) and negative (billionaire Carlos Slim Helu), having the biggest presence in Mexico City and the states of Puebla, Veracruz, and Yucatán. I recommend you buy Theresa Alfaro-Velcamp's excellent 2007 study, So Far from Allah, So Close to Mexico: Middle Eastern Immigrants in Modern Mexico, in which she examined thousands of genealogical records of Lebanese and Syrians who moved to Mexico. Also, don't forget that most Mexican uncles have enough Moorish blood in them to pass as Saddam Hussein in a pinch
Why is it that Mexicans feel they have to tear up the store shelves? I work in the shoe department at a department store and it looks like a bomb went off on our shelves after the families have finished. We even stand there and ask if we can help while we watch them tear it up.
Nitwit for Nike
Same reason everyone else does come Christmas: the ever-elusive search for the perfect pair of Chuck Taylor sneakers.
Why is it that Mexicans aren't as stressed as gringos? Even those living illegally, which must be nerve-wracking.
El Güey Gringito Confiado
Because no matter how bad we have it, we'll always have it better than the Guatemalans.
CONFIDENTIAL TO: The Mexican government, which recently got its calzones in a bunch over a Burger King commercial aired in Spain that depicted an American cowboy and Mexican midget on friendly terms. At a time when drug lords dominate large swaths of Mexico and the country's three major industries (tourism, oil, and migrant remittances) have dropped, you get worked up about a midget decked out in the tricolor? You know what's a bigger desecration to the Mexican nation? Ustedes. Poor Mexico: So far from God, so close to pendejo panistas.