Parents Find Joke Letter from Litchfield Elementary School Principal Offensive; Principal Placed on Leave

Sometimes, jokes go too far -- especially when they're sarcastic letters distributed by a school principal about the ineptitude of students that land in the hands of pissed-off parents.

Ron Sterr, principal of Litchfield Elementary School, was trying to be funny when he sent a parody "field-trip-permission" letter to teachers last week berating students who didn't finish their homework and making sarcastic comments about the drastic measures the school must take to deal with peanut allergies. But one of the teachers apparently mistook the letter for a serious missive and sent it to students' parents.

Which brings up the question: who's the stupid one(s) at Litchfield? 

Litchfield Elementary School District Superintendent Julianne Lein said the school district's been barraged with calls from angry parents. In a press release, Lein writes, "The Litchfield School District renders its most sincere apology to our students, parents, community and staff for this incident. We are taking specific steps to remedy this situation."

It is unclear who actually wrote the letter that Sterr sent, but he's the one placed on administrative leave.

So what's everybody so ticked off about? Check out the controversial letter, in its entirety, after the jump:

"Dear Parents,

Turn off the TV for once and pay attention.

Regarding math:

The math we do is really easy. If your child is either too lazy or too stupid to finish it in class, I'm sending it home so that you can work with them and judge for yourself whether it is laziness or idiocy that inhibits your child's progress. We do part of it in class. How on earth they can NOT finish it is beyond me, but please help them with the part that we do NOT do in class. If your child is one of the mediocre few who excels on the homework, please congratulate them with a warm handshake or perhaps a halfhearted high-five, since finishing this homework is the equivalent of a twenty-year-old wanting to be congratulated for knowing how to tie his shoes.

Regarding Field trip lunches:
We have a peanut allergy in our room and a few in second grade in general. Because of this, everyone must eat nut-free foods. We also have a child who is mourning their puppy who got run over last week by a garbage truck, so we ask that no one wear anything resembling puppy fur, or that is red and flat. Further, one of our students has a nervous tick that causes him to slap himself in face several times a minute. In order to help this child not feel conspicuous, we ask that your child imitate a crazed masochist for the length of this field trip."

Punchy stuff indeed. Too bad nobody's laughing.

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Niki D'Andrea has covered subjects including drug culture, women's basketball, pirate radio stations, Scottsdale staycations, and fine wine. She has worked at both New Times and Phoenix Magazine, and is now a freelancer.
Contact: Niki D'Andrea