We're not sure what "turning into charcoal" would feel like (and we're pretty sure it's not even possible), but apparently it can cause a person to pull out his junk in public and attack a stranger.
About 7:30 a.m. Saturday, police responded to a call about a fight in the area of 2129 West Indian School Road in Phoenix. When they got there, they found 51-year-old Manuel Robinson wearing nothing (literally nothing) but a bathrobe and pacing back and forth.
"I'm burning up," Robinson claimed as he paced.
Meanwhile, a woman he had just attacked approached the responding officers to tell them what had just happened.
According to the woman, as she was walking eastbound on Indian School Road, Robinson jumped out from behind a sign -- in nothing but his bathrobe, mind you -- and put her in a bear hug. Then he put her in a choke hold and tried to drag her down the street.
The victim bit Robinson, causing him to release her.
Another victim told the cops that he had been walking on the south side of the street when Robinson approached him, said "hey, man," and then pulled his penis out of his robe.
As the fuzz was searching Robinson, an officer noticed "a hard object" in the front pocket of the robe. It was not what you're probably thinking -- it was a bag of weed, from which Robinson was apparently smoking.
Robinson admitted to attacking the woman, flashing his wiener, and possessing the weed.
He told police, "I had some kind of fit...I felt like I was turning into charcoal...I felt like I was, I don't know how you call it, vaporizing."
Sounds like some pretty awesome weed.
Robinson was arrested at the scene. He's been charged with possession of marijuana, assault with intent to injure, and indecent exposure.
Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.