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Phoenix New Times Seeks Critic for Weekly Reviews of the Meth Scene

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Phoenix New Times is asking local meth-heads to put those euphoric buzzes or even shattered dreams to use by applying to write a new weekly column called, "You Do the Meth."

New Times' sister paper in Denver, Westword, announced last week that it's taking applications for a marijuana critic to review different types of weed and the ambiance of local marijuana parlors.

We figure we ought to up the ante and do the same regarding the Valley's drug of choice.

That is, Denver's got weed, Phoenix has meth. Indeed, according to the National Survey on Drug Use and Health, Arizona ranks eighth in the nation when it comes to the percentage of the population using meth.

It turns out that 1.22 percent of the Grand Canyon State's 6.5 million people use meth, and New Times seeks a critic who can give meth-using citizens -- even if they happen to be sleeping at a bus stop -- information needed to find the best meth possible 

The column will focus on a few things: Quality of the drug, of course, but also the safety of users. We want to know where to find quality meth that won't kill you right away.

We also want to know about preferred physical delivery methods. We want our critic to compare and contrast the advantages of injecting as opposed to snorting or smoking.

Another key task for our critic will be finding good places for connoisseurs to enjoy their meth in the Phoenix metropolitan area. We aren't as fortunate as the tie-dyed hippies in Denver, who have comfortable parlors where their drug can be enjoyed. So if there's a preferred alley, dumpster, or friend's garage that's perfect for geeking out for several hours, we want to know about it.

Tales of adventure and triumph while cranked are especially desired.

We're not out to glamorize meth use or addiction, only to face facts and inform. County Attorney Andrew Thomas, whose office has run TV ads on meth, can attest to the massive number of users of the drug in the Phoenix area. We want our critic to tell the tragic stories in balance with the toothless humor of crank.

The position is freelance (sorry folks, to avoid having our office equiptment pinched and pawned, we can't have a meth-head actually on staff). Compensation for the position is competitive with the rest of the newspaper industry.

Anyone interested in becoming the world's first crank critic is encouraged to send writing samples, stories, and photos to James.King@NewTimes.com.   

Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.

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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.