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| Crime |

Phoenix Woman Peeing in Parking Lot, With Briefcase Full of Fake Cash, Claims to Be FBI

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Police say a Phoenix woman claimed to be an FBI agent when she was found with thousands of dollars of extremely fake cash.

According to court documents obtained by New Times, the wannabe FBI agent kind of blew her cover when she was seen taking a piss in the parking lot outside a beauty-supply store at 2 p.m. on a weekday.

Police were called after people in the store, near 7th Street and Bell Road, looked outside and saw 49-year-old Betsy Purcell pull down her shorts and underwear, and start whizzing in the parking lot.

When police arrived, they confirmed the ground was wet, and asked Purcell for some ID.

". . . She stood up from the bench she was seated on, and in an aggressive voice, told the officer she did not have to give identification and stated she worked for the FBI," an officer's probable-cause statement says. (If Purcell had ever seen a movie before, she'd know that you're just supposed to flash the badge and say, "FBI.")

After struggling with police while they were trying to arrest her, they searched a suitcase she was carrying, and found it loaded with fake cash. Police describe the cash as "very poorly made," which is an understatement. Police attached scans of many of the bills to court filings, so see if you can tell anything wrong with this:

Note that the money in your wallet is not black-and-white, and printed on white paper. Court filings show that Purcell did make a few color versions, but those were also "very poor" in quality, according to police. She had 76 $20 bills, and 35 $10 bills.

Since the bills were so fake that Monopoly money probably would've been more convincing, it's no surprise that all of the bills had the same exact serial number.

Still, the Secret Service, which deals with counterfeit money, came out and took a report.

Purcell was booked into jail on several charges, including resisting arrest, urinating in public, and a few counts of forgery.

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