Ramon Eligio Alva Would Be a Great Boyfriend -- If You Like Getting Punched in the Face and Raped

Gentlemen, the next time your girlfriend spouts off about how horrible you are at being a boyfriend, just tell her it could be much, much worse -- she could be dating 32-year-old Ramon Eligio Alva.

Alva was arrested Tuesday night after beating the crap out of his girlfriend because she greeted a female friend with a kiss at a party the two attended. Then, according to police, he brutally raped her.

According to court documents obtained by New Times, on October 30, Alva and his girlfriend went to a Halloween party at the girlfriend's place of employment. When the two got to the party, the girlfriend greeted a co-worker by kissing her, which Alva, apparently, was none to pleased about.

The two argued as the party continued until the girlfriend had had enough, and asked Alva for the car keys so she could leave. He refused, and the argument spilled into the parking lot at the party -- which is where Alva decked his girlfriend in the face.

Alva then dragged the woman by her hair and threw her into the car. As the two were driving back to the girlfriend's apartment, Alva punched her in the head a few more times.

When the two reached the girlfriend's apartment, Alva dragged her into the house by her hair and threw her on the couch, where he choked her.

Alva apparently had (ahem) love on the brain -- after choking out his girlfriend, he removed her Halloween costume, dragged her into a bedroom by her hair, and threw her on the bed.

He then raped her -- we'll spare you the details, which are too vile to repeat (even for us).

Following the rape, Alva left the bedroom to let his girlfriend's dog outside, which gave his girlfriend a chance to escape the apartment and run to a neighbor's house, where she called police.

Alva left the apartment before the police showed up.

In all, Alva's girlfriend had 46 documented injuries from the attack, according to the arrest report.

The victim participated in a confrontation call with Alva, during which he admitted to assaulting her. He then told her she wasn't going to "make it through the night."

Alva was booked into jail on three counts of sexual assault, and one count each of kidnapping and aggravated assault.

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