Feathered Bastard

ROSY RED HERRING: Why County Attorney Candy "Babyface" Thomas is a freakin' opportunistic moron willing to endanger his kids for political gain.

Check this video of Tuesday's press conference by County Attorney Andrew Thomas, featuring his fake outrage about the Arizona Republic having a link online to a County Recorder document listing his address and the name of his four kids. Okay, so if you were really worried about the safety of your tykes, why would you hold a press conference announcing to ALL of the media that some obscure online story linked to info. about your rugrats? Uh, political gain might be one reason.

(Interestingly, the press conference was initially said to be regarding "the New Times matter," though it really had nothing to do with us.)

What a schmuck. Not only did Candy-ass Thomas have a press release distributed, he handed out copies of the Rep's brief online story, with the link in BOLD! Thomas' release quoted him as follows:

“I am stunned some media outlets would jeopardize the safety of my family in this manner,” said County Attorney Thomas. “I will now be forced to take precautions to protect my family and myself.”

The guy sounds like Captain Renault from Casablanca claiming, "I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!" Well, except for the fact that the fictional and corrupt Cpt. Renault was far more sophisticated and intelligent than Candy'll ever be, despite Candy's Harvard pedigree.

What's disgusting is that Thomas would use his four kids as part of a cheap political trick, an attempt to garner sympathy, and divert the press' attention with this pathetic red herring. It won't work. The issue remains the same: His office's abuse of power, its malfeasance, and its rape of the First Amendment by allowing Thomas' well paid apparatchik Wilenchik trample the U.S.Constitution with an over-broad subpoena. Not to mention the arrests of Lacey and Larkin, arrests ordered under the umbrella of Thomas' authority.

I was happy to see the Republic bury the story on B4. Though I was a little disturbed to see how quickly they removed the original story from AZCentral.com. I reckon Rep editor Ward Bushee ain't cut out for a night in the slammer. Heh.

If Thomas' wife and kids really do get armed guards, Thomas' pay should be docked for every man hour. Fucking moron.

Thanks to my colleages Megan Irwin and Ray Stern who attended the press conference. (Stern shot the video above.) I was busy on deadline and couldn't make it, alas. Though I'm not sure they would've let me in as douchebag flack-buttboy Barnett Lotstein has told me I'm banned from future County Attorney press conferences. Oh, boo-hoo, Barnett. You're breaking my heart.

Lotstein's a real fossil, not used to dealing with women in the workplace, which has gotten him into a lot of trouble in the past. After the press conference, he kept addressing Irwin with a condescending "Dear." Hey, Lotstein, it's 2007, not 1957. Wonder why everyone thinks you're a joke? Well, acting like that towards female reporters might be one reason.

KEEP PHOENIX NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Stephen is a former staff writer and columnist at Phoenix New Times.
Contact: Stephen Lemons