Of all the things you don't want to crash your car into while cruising around shitfaced, a cop car is pretty high on the list.
This morning, Dylan Fann, 29, of San Tan, did exactly that.
According to the Pinal County Sheriff's Office, about 1:30 a.m., a PCSO deputy was stopped in his patrol car at a red light at the intersection of Hunt Highway and Gary Road.
Fann slammed into the back of the deputy's cruiser.
The deputy got out of his patrol car to check on the driver of the other vehicle. Once he realized Fann wasn't injured, he discovered he was driving on a suspended license and there was a warrant for his arrest after he failed to appear in court on November 29.
Then, the deputy suspected the man who'd just rear-ended him at a stop light might be a little tipsy.
Fann refused to submit to field sobriety tests, and was taken into custody on suspicion of aggravated DUI.
After getting arrested, Fann continued to refuse to submit to sobriety tests. He even refused a chemical test to determine his blood alcohol content.
Deputies were forced to get a warrant from a local magistrate in order to draw Fann's blood to figure out his BAC.
Several hours after his arrest, Fann submitted to a breathalyzer. He blew a .163 -- more than twice the legal limit. Again, he blew a .163 several hours after slamming his car into a police cruiser.
In other words, we'll never know exactly how shit-canned he was when he crashed into the cop car.
Fann was booked into the Pinal County Jail on one count each of aggravated DUI and aggravated assault on a law officer.
Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.