Tech

Scorpion in McDonald's Breakfast Bag Not Making Chandler Science Teacher Go "Mmmm"

A breakfast that makes you go "mmm?" Not in Chandler, reportedly, where a teacher said his McDonald's bag contained a special ingredient: A live scorpion.

Jeff Tallman, according to Channel 15 (KNXV-TV), found the critter along with his meal last Friday morning after stopping at the Mickey D's on Arizona Avenue and Ray Road. Channel 15 says Tallman is "the science teacher at Chandler High School." (What, there's only one?)

Normally, we'd say this sounds fishy to us and dismiss the whole thing as an attempt to turn out the pockets of Ronald the Clown. But everyone trusts a science teacher about things like scorpions and the odds of finding an arachnid lurking in our Egg McMuffins, so we'll suspend disbelief for a moment.

Except on one thing. 

Channel 15 reports that: It wasn't just any scorpion -- it was a baby scorpion, which is even more venomous than it's adult counterpart. Now that's sheer nonsense. We've read that baby rattlesnakes may inject more venom than an adult, but never the same thing about a scorpion. Having been stung by a fully grown bark scorpion, we'll take the stinger of one of those grain-of-rice-sized babies any day.

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Ray Stern has worked as a newspaper reporter in Arizona for more than two decades. He's won numerous awards for his reporting, including the Arizona Press Club's Don Bolles Award for Investigative Journalism.