Needless to say, I love this park, too. Three different teams (da Cubs, A's, and Giants) have trained there in the decade-plus I've been in town, and it doesn't really matter who's playing, a game on this field is usually pretty lovely. The recent success of the Giants is nothing more than a marginally consequential bonus, unless you're a Giants fan, and then it's more like the last remaining reason to drag your sorry self out of the sack in the morning and continue living.
So naturally it makes perfect sense for the City of Scottsdale to want to tear the stadium down and put up a baseball disco of some kind for the Giants. Which is exactly what is going to happen someday soon, you can bet the rent. The politics of spring training are going to ruin this park, I predict, and for that reason alone I suggest every local baseball fan should register to vote--particularly you slugs in Scottsdale--and start finding out where your elected officials stand on all baseball-related issues. We've got to save the Scottsdale Stadium for spring training purposes, get a full-scale open-air stadium built somewhere in this county sometime in the next three years for a full-time big-league team, it's got to be built fairly close to my house, it's got to have a botany-related playing field instead of something made by Dow Chemical, and it's got to have sixteen-ounce beers for no more than $1.
I'm willing to bend some on that last point, but that's only because I otherwise deal from a position of considerable power, and that's only because I'm registered to vote and totally prepared to electorially clobber any pinhead politigeek who isn't interested in furthering the Baseball Agenda. George Will--political pundit, Sam Donaldson video love toy and, for our purposes, baseball fan--comes out to spring training a lot (I spotted him in the crowd at Phoenix Muni on Saint Patrick's Day last year), and if I run into him this year, I'm going to somehow force him into helping Phoenix get a big-league team. The time for action is now, my friend, even if that means having to suck up to a person like him. (In fact, if any of you should spot George before I do this spring, pour a beer on him and tell him I sent you. I figure we need to get his attention, and quick.)
But since I don't live in Scottsdale, my vote on the (as George Bush might say) "stadium thing" isn't going to count for much. Get out there and enjoy that existing jewel of a ballpark as long as you can, people, starting day after tomorrow. And remember, when Scottsdale Stadium dies, a little bit of you dies, too.
MDRV The Stadium: Lots of red-stained wood sets the tone, and the daffy pennant-style signage around the top level of the park's exterior says: "Har!" Inside, there is much comfortable seating but little shade. To me, the foul-line bleacher seats seem far, far away from the rest of the grandstand, which accounts for much painful eye strain during between-inning babe-scamming. This isn't really much of a gripe, because, babe scammers and scammees excepted, none of the people who sit out there want to see anybody who sits in there, and likewise.
Otherwise, there always seems to be lots of people standing around at Scottsdale Stadium. I don't know if that's because the people are so hung over they can't climb six or seven steps to a real seat, or because they think that since they're leaning on a chain-link fence next to the field and looking wise that maybe Roger Craig might mosey over and ask for a second opinion on who to pinch-hit for Big Daddy next inning. Like I say, I don't know. This is part of the stadium's charm to me.
Another big part of the stadium's charm is the aforementioned cozy feeling I get when sitting in the main part of the grandstand. Everyone else in the park seems so close, it's almost as if I could reach out and flick that little slab of relish off the chin of that guy who's sitting over behind the third-base dugout. Hey, isn't that George Will?
As far as practical aspects of viewing a game at Scottsdale Stadium go, most of them are, as George might say, a mega butt pain. Concession facilities are, in my opinion, grossly inadequate. Lines are long, and the food isn't going to put the minimarket chefs out of business any time soon. Rest-room facilities, especially during well-attended games (they say capacity is about 4,800), are a sorry joke. If you really, really, really, really have to go bad, plan on missing at least one full inning of baseball. Otherwise, as my dad used to say, "Hold it."
MDRV Parking: Lots of luck, pal, the parking situation is quite a mess. There are a few small private lots on the periphery, and quite a few street spaces, but as far as any kind of public parking goes--you know, a paved or even unpaved lot of some kind, where people can park in nice rows and stuff--I've never been able to find diddly near the park. There is one practical solution, however, which is why you're reading this instead of the International Herald Tribune, as you usually do at this time of day. I suggest you park in Scottsdale's municipal lot across the street from the Civic Center, which itself is located just down the block from the ballpark. The Civic Center lot's proximity to the Civic Center is the key to this solution, only because this is Scottsdale you're in after all, and there's a high likelihood you're going to wind up at the Civic Center anyway, with a pastel sweater tied around your neck and sipping an umbrella drink of some kind at one the many chichi grog huts located there.
MDRV Navigation: The key, of course, is total avoidance of Scottsdale Road. This is a good rule of thumb even when you're not going to a game. Scottsdale Road, even on a good day, is worse than clumsy dental surgery. Alternate north-south routes that allow access to Osborn are 68th Street, Miller, and Hayden. This time of year, a flank approach on the ballpark via these arteries likely will prove no more fun than the Scottsdale Road route. Fortunately, many of the ball fans who come to this stadium seem to enjoy early arrival, cutting back on some of the crush. You're on your own, but be prepared to sit and stew in creeping traffic if you arrive near game time.
As I've stated in the past (see above paragraph), parking far away and walking is not the worst idea in the world. A big storm with freezing rain is probably not going to blow in while you're waiting for the game to start, so why not take it easy?
MDRV Pre-game: Several options exist, depending on your angle of approach.
Option one (southerly approach): Go to Boman's deli and buy a USA Today and get a table and order a pizza burger and potato pancakes and a Coke.
Option two (northerly approach): Go to Cubs Park, a spiffy little hot-dog shop run by argumentative people up on Bell Road, order a hot dog or an Italian beef sandwich, an order of their best-in-town-in-my-opinion fries, and maybe a cup of chili.
Option three (easterly approach): Go to Stooges and get an order of fried zucchini, a burger with extra onions and, depending on what the soup of the day is, some soup.
Option four (westerly approach): Go to Bits 'n' Pizzas and order a pie with pepperoni, sausage, onions and olives, and a tall Coke.
MDRV Post-game: Two primary destinations await Scottsdale fans, lucky folks that they are. Both of these restaurants are classy joints that serve fine food for carnivores, and both cater heavily to the baseball crowd during March. If you are a baseball nut--and if you've read this far there's every reason to believe that you are some kind of nut--these two spots are "must" stops.
The top stop is, of course, the Pink Pony, a landmark to which baseball men have flocked for years and years. Reams of prose have been shoveled on the Pink Pony over the years by some of the best baseball writers alive, so I'm not about to go overboard. Suffice it to say, it's a dark joint with a long bar, and it's a traditional haunt for the game's most colorful persons, including Billy Martin, who will likely try to stuff a dollar bill in your pants if he sees you dancing. Actually, I don't even know if Billy is going to be in Arizona this spring. If he shows, you'll see him in the Pink.
Quickly approaching the Pink Pony's popularity among players, coaches, scouts, broadcasters and writers is Don & Charlie's ribbery. There have been moments, late during happy hour here, when entire rosters of teams are parked inside and having fun. The food is great, and the happy hour spread is, ahem, world class. Classy guy Don Carson runs the place, maybe too well. Don & Charlie's is immensely popular, and the crowd inside sometimes can resemble a brick of onion rings, which, it just so happens, is one of the specialties of the house. If you've got a problem with big crowds in tight places, especially big crowds in tight Scottsdale places, you may feel a little stacked-up at D&C's.
Worthy of at least a mention are a couple of new places. Steve Stone, Cy Young winner and Cubs broadcaster, says that Charlie Charlie's, the gala disco at the Phoenician, is going to be one of the hot spots for spying on ballplayers this spring. Why, I don't know. I've never been there and I never will. Stone also says a new place called Harry and Steve's in Scottsdale is going to be all the rage as well. He says this because he owns it. Based on the phenomenal aesthetic and commercial success of the first Harry and Steve's in Mesa (see "HoHoKam Park" section below), I would have to say that Steve is probably right about his new place in Scottsdale.
If you're not interested in the see-and-be-seen-with-the-ballplayers scene, yonder come a couple of suggestions for good Scottsdale places in which to calm down after spending all afternoon watching a practice game that doesn't really matter. First I would try either DJ's or the Downside Risk. Then maybe I would try Stooges. Then I would try the bar at Trader Vic's (a local treasure, so behave yourself in there). Then I would probably want to take a nap.
