Audio By Carbonatix
According to people attempting to calculate the gayest places in America, Scottsdale’s pretty gay.
We’re not gayness assessors, but it would appear that Advocate magazine is totally making up this shit.
The equation for determining how gay a city depends on some things that sound legitimate, like a city’s score on the Human Rights Campaign’s Corporate Equality Index, the number of LGBT elected officials, the existence of transgender protections, and the existence of marriage equality.
Then there’s the totally arbitrary bullshit that’s used to determine that Tacoma, Washington, is the gayest place in the U.S. of A.
When news happens, Phoenix New Times is there —
Your support strengthens our coverage.
We’re aiming to raise $30,000 by December 31, so we can continue covering what matters most to you. If New Times matters to you, please take action and contribute today, so when news happens, our reporters can be there.
That arbitrary bullshit includes:
- Gay rugby: 1 point for each team
- Concerts by Scissor Sisters, Uh Huh Her, Girl in a Coma, and cast of Glee: 1 point for each stop since 2009
- Fabulous shopping: 1 point each if a city has Whole Foods, West Elm, or Pottery Barn stores
- Roller Derby: 1 point for each league
Since it looks like you can just make up total bullshit to measure gayness, we’re going to make a bullshit list of the straightest places in America, by scoring one point for every Bass Pro Shops store, and two points for every Cabela’s store:
- Texas: 12
- Florida: 7
- Missouri: 7
- Washington, Nebraska, and Minnesota: 6
Long story short, according to some big pile of bullshit, Scottsdale’s the 16th-gayest place in America — which could be a valuable conversation topic at some point in your life. More bullshit details here.
