Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio says his latest, dehumanizing, inmate "incentive program" is so successful that parents should use it on their "couch potato" children.
Two weeks ago, Arpaio unveiled "Pedal Vision," a stationary bike rigged up to a television.
As an inmate pedals, the bike creates enough electricity to power the TV. If an inmate fails to pedal, the TV doesn't work.
As the Sheriff's Office explains, "Seeing that half of the inmate population is overweight, many morbidly so, Arpaio decided that inmates need to exercise. But since they cannot be forced to do so, he worked out a plan that incorporates a trade-off: If inmates want to access to their favorite pastime -- watching television -- they have to pedal for that privilege."
Now, Arpaio says the device is so popular among inmates, other sheriffs, and bloggers worldwide, that parents should consider rigging up something similar for their fat-ass children.
"Get our kids off the couch and onto a bike to power their TVs or video games and perhaps the childhood obesity problem that is so prevalent today would be reduced," Arpaio says.
Arpaio says the device is popular because it is a "fact" that women in jail inmates love daytime dramas..
"Given the fact that these female inmates love their soap operas, there is no shortage of inmates willing to pedal hard for the Young and the Restless and Days of Our Lives," Arpaio's office says.
Ha -- them gals sure do love their soaps!
Given that Arpaio seems to base many of his decisions on stupid stereotypes, keep your eyes peeled for an elliptical-powered ATM machine for Joe's Jewish inmates, or that chicken- and-waffle social awarded to the sheriff's most well-behaved black prisoners.