Arpaio

Sheriff Joe Arpaio Wants Everyone to Know How Many Internet "Friends" He Has -- Quick Check of Interwebs Shows Joe's Cookin' the Books

Like a 15-year-old girl, Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio reached unprecedented levels of media sluttiness today when he not only felt compelled to announce how many cyber friends he has, but went so far as to lie about it, too.

The Maricopa County Sheriff's Office put out a press release today (yes, this news was apparently press release-worthy), informing the world, "Sheriff Arpaio reaches an impressive 110,000 new 'friends' through social media."

Yes, "friends" was in quotes.

The MCSO states "...without even trying, he is received an amazing amount of attention from the general public through these sites."

Aside from the Governor Jan Brewer-esque "he is received" from the sheriff's PR flack, Arpaio says he still prefers "good old fashioned face to face communication."

"I don't know much about tweets, texts, blogs, or emails but I do know that it is a quick way for me to get my story out in a manner that is essentially unfiltered by media bias," he says.

On a side note, the MCSO says the 110,000 "friends" are from Facebook and Twitter -- which is B.S.

To have this story unfiltered by Sheriff Joe bias, we counted Arpaio's e-friends.

The sheriff's Twitter account has 16,731 followers and his Facebook page lists 4,948 "friends," leaving a missing 88,321 of what we'll call "imaginary friends."

Sure, he could've counted the 94,337 "Likes" (not the same as "friends") on the Joe Arpaio Facebook page, but then he could have also subtracted the 97, 478 "Likes" on the "People against Sheriff Joe Arpaio" page.

Also in the release, the MCSO mentions that Arpaio is the sixth most desired talk show guest in America.

The five beating out Arpaio are Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Minnesota Representative Michele Bachmann, Ann Coulter, and Sarah Palin, according to this very credible-looking website.

Regardless, Sheriff Arpaio is pleased as punch to lie about being one of coolest cats on the Internet.

This writer's request to be Sheriff Arpaio's Facebook "friend" is currently pending.

KEEP PHOENIX NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Matthew Hendley
Contact: Matthew Hendley