Like a 15-year-old girl, Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio reached unprecedented levels of media sluttiness today when he not only felt compelled to announce how many cyber friends he has, but went so far as to lie about it, too.
The Maricopa County Sheriff's Office put out a press release today (yes, this news was apparently press release-worthy), informing the world, "Sheriff Arpaio reaches an impressive 110,000 new 'friends' through social media."
Yes, "friends" was in quotes.
The MCSO states "...without even trying, he is received an amazing amount of attention from the general public through these sites."
Aside from the Governor Jan Brewer-esque "he is received" from the sheriff's PR flack, Arpaio says he still prefers "good old fashioned face to face communication."
"I don't know much about tweets, texts, blogs, or emails but I do know that it is a quick way for me to get my story out in a manner that is essentially unfiltered by media bias," he says.
On a side note, the MCSO says the 110,000 "friends" are from Facebook and Twitter -- which is B.S.
To have this story unfiltered by Sheriff Joe bias, we counted Arpaio's e-friends.
The sheriff's Twitter account has 16,731 followers and his Facebook page lists 4,948 "friends," leaving a missing 88,321 of what we'll call "imaginary friends."
Sure, he could've counted the 94,337 "Likes" (not the same as "friends") on the Joe Arpaio Facebook page, but then he could have also subtracted the 97, 478 "Likes" on the "People against Sheriff Joe Arpaio" page.
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SHOW ME HOW
Also in the release, the MCSO mentions that Arpaio is the sixth most desired talk show guest in America.
The five beating out Arpaio are Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Minnesota Representative Michele Bachmann, Ann Coulter, and Sarah Palin, according to this very credible-looking website.
Regardless, Sheriff Arpaio is pleased as punch to lie about being one of coolest cats on the Internet.
This writer's request to be Sheriff Arpaio's Facebook "friend" is currently pending.