The view from Nixon's

The Triumph of Mediocrity: "Femmebot" Manet. Has she finally gotten a man-date?
Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Phoenix and help keep the future of New Times free.

I took in the election returns last night with my fellow imbibers at Nixon's at The Esplanade, specifically with the charming Stephanie Carrico & JRC, owners of the Trunk Space gallery on Grand Avenue. Guinness and good company always help the poll results go down. Wish I was still there drinking.

The Triumph of Mediocrity: No surprise in Nappy's 2-t0-1 blowout of Taliban Republican Len "Premarital" Munsil. After all, it wasn't much of a choice: A religious nut who says he's going to "pray" for his opponent vs. a frumpy hedge-bettor who's never had a daring idea she didn't deeply suppress. If the Republican Party had fielded a real candidate, they might've had a shot. Nappy was not unbeatable. Her record after four years in power is weaker than day-old draft beer. And she had no plan for the next four years out there until FIVE DAYS before the election. How lame is that? This woman is not the genius politician so many seem to think she is. Rather, her appeal is explained by these facts: she's done very little to piss people off; she's not a felon like some past AZ Guvs; and she carefully calculates every political move so that she ends up standing for absolutely nothing. Her obscure sexuality is a metaphor for her politics: Neither fish nor fowl. She's political jello, with very little flavor. Nothing significant will happen for the next four years on her watch. She's said she won't leave office for a DC appointment if the Dems take the Presidency in '08, but I don't believe her. That is her goal, DC or bust. And she would make a good Dem apparatchik. She has all the magnetism of your average post-office employee.

Milquetoast Mitchell, Movin' on Up? : I know JD is a blowhard, but I'd rather have two years of JD's shenanigans than two years of intense boredom from the schoolmarmish Mitchell. Sorry, Mitchell is a very, very unimpressive pol. He boasts the charisma of a gastropod, an annoying, whiny voice, a middle-aged paunch, and the thrilling political savvy of a retired bus driver. JD's holding out until the provisionals are counted, and it would be great if Mitchell went down after the Secretary of State's final count, but I'm not getting my hopes up. Why did Mitchell pull it out (apparently)? The ABH factor: "Anyone But Hayworth." A lot of people really despise the guy, and I think they would've voted for the proverbial yellow dog instead of Hayworth. The Abramoff mess, JD's embroilment in the scandal, and the electorate's disgust with Republican rule sealed JD's fate. Like I say, apparently... I mean, Mitchell hasn't announced victory yet. Nor has JD conceded.

Pederson Punks Out: After seeing Pederson on the stump, I was impressed. TV is not kind to Pederson. On the tube, it looks like there's something weird going on with the guy's mouth. Almost seems like he's snockered, even though that's not the case. Google "Foster Brooks" and you'll grok my point. In person, however, he looks tall, commanding, and possesses the appropriate Senatorial gravitas. He's also funny and smart. Why didn't he connect with the public to the degree needed to overcome a shlub like Kyl? Kyl was ripe for the picking, and he holds some particularly odious wing-nut views. But Pederson always seemed to be playing defense, either on the fake issue of amnesty for illegals, or explaining his past financial history. Fuck playing defense, dood. You should've gone negative long and hard. Towards the end, Pederson seemed to get the point, and he had some cool anti-Kyl ads out, like the one involving body armor for the boys in Iraq. I think if he had another week or two, he might've pulled ahead. But he allowed his enemy to define him, instead of the other way around. As Jack Valenti once said, in politics, that's an unforgivable sin. I'm not saying Pederson had no negative ads out there, but Kyl's were more numerous and more pointed (at least to my eye). You'd think Pederson, with his political background, would've known better. So now we're stuck with this buttmunch Kyl for six more...


Keep Phoenix New Times Free... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Phoenix with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.