Did you hear the one about the guy who broke into a head shop and stole $300 worth of fake weed? Probably not, because it's not a joke -- some idiot actually did it on Monday night in Flagstaff.
In the police blotter of yesterday's Arizona Daily Sun, there is a report of a burglary at the Kind Connection Tattoo and Smoke Shop, where the burglar only stole two things: an incense vaporizer and $300 worth of fake marijuana.
According to the report, the burglar bashed in the store's front window -- setting off its alarm system -- went in, um, looted the store, and left.
When store employees responded to the alarm they found that the only things missing were the vaporizer and a stash of Spice Gold, a legal herb that often substitutes as fake weed.
Since those of us at New Times are (ahem) unfamiliar with the effects of marijuana or its substitutes, we called Kind Connection to find out if this stuff can get someone even a little bit high. Unfortunately, nobody answered. We understand, though. It's a head shop so it was probably, um, wishful thinking to assume that someone would be at work at 2 p.m. on a Thursday.
So we turned to the Internet to get the skinny on the this bunk weed and found several testimonials to its effectiveness.
"I've been smoking this stuff as a substitute for weed for the last week or so and its not to bad, it definitaly [sic] gets you high, not as good as the real deal though but its still very enjoyable for a legal herb," SmokeOwt posted on the "420 friendly" internet forum, Stoner Forums.
"Junior Stoner" Jeremy_VA agrees.
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"So i was surfing around the web looking at legalbuds when I found a forum than mentioned this Spice Gold was way better and actually worked as an alternative to smoke if you have DT's or are dry," he writes.
If you're getting "DT's" from not smoking weed, not having weed should not be your biggest concern.
The report says an investigation is under way and that employees were able to give police possible suspect information. Hopefully that information is more thorough than he or she's a "skeevy stoner."
If not, a large percentage of the student population at Northern Arizona University might have some splanin' to do.