At the end of the week, we bring you a roundup of visitors to the desert's own Fourth Avenue Jail. To be considered for our Maricopa County mugshots of the week, get arrested, strike a pose, and we'll take care of the rest.
This week, we introduce the 50 best mugshots of 2014. Enjoy!
50.)
Charges: Aggravated assault on a minor, unlawful imprisonment, criminal trespassing, resisting arrest, possession of drug paraphernalia Family man!
49.)
Charges: Identity theft, theft by obtaining a service without paying Remember to incorporate fiber into your diet.
48.)
Charges: Assault, shoplifting Dentists love him!
47.)
Charges: Disorderly conduct, possession of drug paraphernalia Um, dude, there's a soggy condom dangling from your eye.
46.)
Charges: Aggravated assault, burglary, failure to appear Surprise colonoscopy! 45.)
Charges: Aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, criminal damage WTF.
44.)
Charges: Failure to pay a fine Arthur Fonzarelli.
43.)
Charges: Disorderly conduct Pucker up, baby!
42.)
Charges: Criminal trespassing That's love, folks.
41.)
Charges: Assault Look out for BulldogBatSpider! 40.)
Charges: Marijuana violation Merman.
39.)
Charges: Criminal trespassing, possession of drug paraphernalia Here's a guy who probably doesn't get a lot of job offers for customer-service positions.
38.)
Charges: Probation violation Good Lord, this man is growing a Willie Nelson on his face!
37.)
Charges: Theft of transportation Let's not exclude the possibility that this guy is a radical environmentalist and his neck tattoo says "White Prius."
36.)
Charges: Narcotic-drug possession, possession of drug paraphernalia It takes a while to see this one. At first, it looked like maybe someone farting in tall grass, until we noticed it's actually an eagle with testicles for a beak, poking his head through a fence. 35.)
Charges: Failure to appear Looks like someone's turning 11 today!
34.)
Charges: Failure to register as a sex offender, marijuana possession, possession of drug paraphernalia Man, aren't pocket watches classy? Oh dear, look at the time, it's dollars o'clock.
33.)
Charges: Left: Escape, marijuana possession, Right: Disorderly conduct Why is this a thing?
32.)
Charges: Possession of a weapon in a drug offense, marijuana possession This is the Little Mermaid's dad.
31.)
Charges: Dangerous-drug possession, possession of drug paraphernalia Good luck getting to bed tonight. 30.)
Charges: Aggravated DUI, criminal damage, hit-and-run with injury, endangerment, assault Nana?
29.)
Charges: DUI, failure to show ID That's the kind of mullet you'll only get to see deep in a trailer park on COPS.
28.)
Charges: Aggravated assault, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, disorderly conduct Fonzie's punk-ass grandson.
27.)
Charges: Threatening or intimidating with damage to property, disorderly conduct So is this Weird Al, or not?
26.)
Charges: Burglary, possession of drugs in a drug-free zone, possession of drug paraphernalia If the zombie apocalypse comes, look no further for patient zero. 25.)
Charges: Dangerous-drug possession, narcotic-drug possession, possession of drug paraphernalia Pavarotti.
24.)
Charges: Disorderly conduct Possibilities: -Watching Jesus descend from the heavens -Being abducted by UFO -Both
23.)
Charges: Shoplifting He who hath smelt it, dealt it.
22.)
Charges: Probation violation, failure to appear Here's a piece of advice: If you're going to get a face tattoo of a word, look up that word in the dictionary first, or you might be in "troble."
21.)
Charges: Resisting arrest with physical force Who's laughing now!? (Everyone.) 20.)
Charges: Criminal damage, theft, shoplifting, failure to appear, disorderly conduct Is there even a word for this type of grin?
19.)
Charges: Possession of a weapon by a prohibited person, possession of drug paraphernalia, probation violation Ya don't say.
18.)
Charges: Dangerous-drug possession, narcotic-drug possession, marijuana violation, extreme DUI, failure to appear, assault Rule number one about living in Phoenix: Don't trust anyone wearing a raincoat.
17.)
Charges: Assault Spoiler alert: "Bonafied" ain't a word.
16.)
Charges: Not available Beat this woman in a breath-holding contest, win a prize. 15.)
Charges: Failure to pay a fine That's a bear's leg.
14.)
Charges: Marijuana possession for sale, marijuana production Ah, yes, the old coil-of-dog-crap hairdo.
13.)
Charges: Not available Is that a penis? (That's what she said.)
12.)
Charges: Criminal trespassing, disorderly conduct Seems accurate.
11.)
Charges: Not available It's always the wrong week to quit sniffin' glue. 10.)
Charges: Probation violation Acting credits: -COPS, 1991: Alleged trailer park domestic-violence suspect -COPS, 1994: Alleged theft of filet mignon, concealed in pants -COPS, 1997: Nude LSD incident
9.)
Charges: Disorderly conduct Don't put your finger in an electrical outlet.
8.)
Charges: Shoplifting, possession of drug paraphernalia Not sure if this guy fell asleep face-first into a notebook he was doodling on, or if that's the world's dumbest collection of forehead tattoos.
7.)
Charges: Aggravated assault Your face. What.
6.)
Charges: Assault That's someone's crazy ex-girlfriend. 5.)
Charges: Failure to appear Happy camper.
4.)
Charges: Probation violation
3.)
Charges: Driving on a suspended license Introducing, the Cadillac of inmates.
2.)
Charges: Criminal trespassing, possession of drug paraphernalia Wow, so realistic.
1.)
Charges: Criminal trespassing Happy New Year!
Love,
This Guy
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