Today is the day we find out if all the bickering between candidates running for public office -- and the far-reaching attack ads they produce -- have paid off. Today is election day, and we're pumped.
The 2010 general election in Arizona hasn't been nearly as entertaining as the primary season (watching people in the same political party, who agree on just about everything, beat the political crap out of each other is just way more fun). But it's certainly had its moments.
Sometimes, politicos in attack mode go from far-reaching to flat-out cheap to get their points across. And nobody likes a candidate who doesn't play fair.
So before you head to the polls (if you haven't been there already) have a look at our list of this election season's top-five cheap shots made by some of our local political heroes, and check back to Valley Fever later for full coverage of tonight's election results.
5) District Three Congressional candidate Jon Hulburd's lie about lying.
Jon Hulburd's running for Congress, which may come as a shock to those who thought he was running for chief of police in Moralityville. His entire campaign has focused on his opponent, Ben Quayle's, loose ties to a less-than-reputable Web site -- not on anything related to Jon Hulburd. But it's not his obsession with all things The Dirty that finds him on our list, it's his lie about lying.
Hulburd ran a radio ad claiming Quayle lied about having children because he distributed a campaign mailer that included a photo of him with two kids. To the casual observer, it could be assumed that the kids are Quayle's, but he never lied -- the kids were his nieces. Check it out here.
When confronted about his dishonest ad, Hulburd told New Times he didn't lie and that the way he worded his ad made it truthful.
Judge for yourself here.
4) Senate candidate Rodney Glassman's assault on Lynyrd Skynard.
Rodney Glassman's Arizona-themed version of Lynyrd Skynard's "Sweet Home Alabama" wasn't a cheap shot against his opponent, Senator John McCain, but it was a cheap shot against Lynyrd Skynard and anyone who had the misfortune of watching it. Check it out below (don't worry, it's only natural to cringe).
3) The Committee for Justice and Fairness' suggestion that attorney general candidate Tom Horne is pro-kiddy-porn.
As far as we know, Tom Horne is not a kiddy-porn advocate, but an attack ad from the Washington D.C. based Committee for Justice and Fairness might lead you to believe otherwise.
The ad didn't come directly from Horne's opponent, Felecia Rotellini, but as New Times pointed out here, she didn't exactly discourage it.
To suggest someone running for attorney general is pro-kiddy-porn is about as cheap as it gets -- have a look below -- but it doesn't compare to the level of cheapness achieved by those who earned the one and two spots on our list.
2) Jan Brewer's dying.
The rumors of Jan Brewer's impending death were greatly exaggerated.
The rumor mill churned out the theory that a Band-Aid on Brewer's neck suggested that she was sick, and possibly unable to finish a full, four-year term as governor. The rumor was repeated on the Facebook page of former New Times scribe John Dougherty, and it spread like wildfire.
We don't know who started the rumor, but Brewer's doctor came out saying the governor is in tip-top shape -- and, aside from Brewer's cigarettey voice and overall leathery appearance, we have no reason not to believe him.
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However, as cheap a shot as a rumor that a woman is dying may be, it led to the gold medalist on our list.
1) Did you hear Terry Goddard's gay?
After the rumors surfaced that Brewer was knockin' on death's door, her campaign manager, Chuch Coughlin, issued (ahem) a logical response: her opponent, Terry Goddard, is gay.
It was a great day for Arizona politics.