Feathered Bastard

Top Ten Tom Horne Trucker Hat Slogans

See also: -Arizona AG Tom Horne's Sex Scandal Scuttles Gubernatorial Bid

So Arizona Attorney General Tom "Hit-and-Run" Horne's got a Cuban cougar on the taxpayer's payroll with whom he can enjoy a little afternoon delight, if he so desires.

He rocks a gold Jag, and allegedly breaks campaign finance laws with impunity (so far).

And even after a year of pickin' through his trash, the FBI ended up with bupkis.

In other words, Horne is a goofy, balding version of Dos Equis' "The Most Interesting Man in the World."

He's got it goin' on, G. Sure, he'll never be governor, just like Larry Flynt will never be president. But for the next couple of years, at least, he can party like a rock star, all while being financed by you dumb schmucks.

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Stephen is a former staff writer and columnist at Phoenix New Times.
Contact: Stephen Lemons