Vasectomies Soar Couple of Days Before NCAA Big Dance Starts -- Great Excuse For Couch Potatoes

The Big Dance finally started an hour or so ago, with Florida and BYU going at it in Oklahoma City.


​We're here at work, occasionally (really) checking the scores on the Internet, just like millions of other March Madness junkies.

We already are rethinking our Final Four picks of Kansas, Syracuse, West Virginia and Duke (in one pool, at least).

Too late, buster.

Speaking of March Madness, c

ome to find out, American males at this very moment are propped up in front of their television sets at home, bags of ice strategically placed in their crotches.

See, Cleveland urologist Dr. Stephen Jones has noted a 50 percent increase in recent years in vasectomies performed a day or two before the start of the NCAA men's tournament.

That's a lot of slicing and dicing.

 You can imagine the dialogue, first between the dude and his woman:

"Honey, doc says I gotta take it easy for a couple of days. I'll be back to normal after the weekend."

Or this one with the boss:

"Sorry, I'll be out Thursday and Friday. Surgical procedure. Nothing big. No, I'll be laid up, and it probably will be better if I start up fresh on Monday, Okay?

As probably everyone reading this knows, our local schools (ASU and Arizona) weren't good enough to go Dancing this year.

But there's basketball on CBS from right now into the evening, enough to satisfy the most severe cravings.

As for you guys who hadn't thought of the Vasectomy Excuse before, maybe there's still time to make an appointment for next week:

The Sweet Sixteen beckons.

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Paul Rubin
Contact: Paul Rubin