Where You Shouldn't Drive Drunk on Memorial Day, Compliments of Peoria Police Department

The Peoria Police Department -- like most cop shops -- doesn't want people driving drunk on Memorial Day, but if you're hammered and dumb enough to hop behind the wheel of a car, the Peoria fuzz is being kind enough to tell you exactly where they're gonna be.

On Monday, May 31, from 3 p.m. until 8 p.m., the Peoria Police Department and the West Valley DUI Task Force will conduct a DUI checkpoint at the Castle Hot Springs Road entrance of Lake Pleasant Regional Park, the department announced today.

So, now that you know exactly where not to drive, you won't fall into that trap, right?

Peoria Police spokesman Mike Tellef doesn't seem to think so.

Tellef tells New Times that the department is legally obligated to tell the public where police will be conducting DUI checkpoints, but that doesn't stop morotists from getting busted.

"It's amazing how many people we get, even though they know exactly where we're gonna be," Tellef says.

According to Tellef, about 1,100 cars pass through the checkpoint each year, and there is no shortage of drunk morons.

Tellef says officers have noticed folks scrambling to find the soberest person to drive through the checkpoint and then playing a crowded game of in-car musical chairs to get that person into the driver's seat without drawing suspicion by opening a car door.

Tellef told us another tale of a man who tried to drive through the checkpoint with an open beer between his legs. When the man's father came to pick him up at the police station, he yelled at his drunk son for being that dumb.

Knowing the location of the checkpoint this far in advance, Tellef says, should give people plenty of time to find a designated driver, or arrange for a cab.

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James King
Contact: James King