Chow Bella

Cilantro Is Disgusting and Needs to Go Away Forever

There is way too much cilantro in this picture.
There is way too much cilantro in this picture. Getty Images / Vaivirga

I've eaten a lot of burritos, tacos, and quesadillas over the years. But every time I order Mexican food, I feel like I get more cilantro than the time before.

Is this a rule? Is the government tracking my eating habits and upping the herb level to the point where, 10 years from now, if I order a burrito it'll be a tortilla made of cilantro and filled with more cilantro?

I hate cilantro. It’s disgusting, and I want no part of it. I would rather give up Mexican food entirely than put any more cilantro in my face hole. Garbage tastes better.

Cilantro is one of the most commonly used herbs in cooking – especially Mexican cooking. It comes from the coriander plant. If you too want to avoid cilantro, you need to know that some countries even call cilantro coriander. Technically, here in America, cilantro is the leafy part of the plant; coriander may refer to the leaves or the seeds. Cilantro comes from the same family as carrots, parsley, and celery. It’s that one family member that nobody really likes.

I used to not mind cilantro in small doses. It was hardly noticeable. But over the past few years, the cilantro ratio to everything else in my food has at least tripled, and I know I haven’t asked for it. Most of the time, I specifically request “no cilantro.” I always get a look like I am being judged. Based on a poll I ran on Phoenix New Times’ Twitter, I am. And that’s fine, because I know I’m not alone.

My issue with cilantro is that it overpowers the rest of the dish. I will honestly forget I am eating real food any time I can taste its soapiness. Listen, I don’t want to taste a bubble bath in my dinner. And if I did, I'd rather not pay for it at a restaurant, thanks.

It turns out that there may be a strong biological foundation to my dislike. About one in 10 people have a gene that allows them to taste aldehydes in cilantro. Aldehydes can also be found in soap.

It’s time we cilantro-hating people of the world stand our ground. No more hiding. No more feeling ashamed for being in the minority. #SayNoToCilantro.

If you, too, hate cilantro let me know. We need to stick together in this dangerous cilantro-loving world we live in. We already have Julia Child on our side. Who's next?

Also, pineapple belongs on pizza. Don’t @ me.

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Dillon Rosenblatt was the social media editor at Phoenix New Times from 2016 to 2018. Originally from New Jersey, he is a graduate of Arizona State University's Walter Cronkite School of Journalism and Mass Communication.