Chow Bella

Get 27 Can Get Bent in "FoodLab 2010" (Part 7 of 7)

Molecular gastronomy (not the after-effect of eating too many black bean, spicy sausage and cheese nachos) is a scientific discipline that studies the physical and chemical processes that occur while cooking. Wonder what it tastes like? Find out in this seven-part series.

Last week's salmon dices and eggs, dill flavoured (ahem, flavored) milk with almonds was a fish-ass failure, and just one more reason the Frenchies at Cuisine Innovation need to get off their derrières and re-think molecular gastronomy from an American perspective: No chantilly, no additional costly supplies, and no goddamn metric system.

That said, for this week's recipe, the main ingredient is M.I.A. Shocking.

Recipe 6: Instant Choco Custard, Get 27® Spaghetti

What is Get (pronounced Jet) 27®? It's a liquor with mint used as an apéritif or in cocktails. It was created by two Frenchies with the last name of Get in 1796. The ads for Get 27® are creepy and the packaging looks like the Hefty logo slapped on a bottle of drain cleaner. It is not available in the city of Phoenix. Maybe not even in Arizona. Maybe not even in America.

A substitute? Probably. But let's look at the rest of the recipe for any other possible snags. Oh yeah, there's a few:

- 100 grams of 70% dark chocolate (unless you've forked over an extra $35 for a precision scale, this is impossible to figure out)

- 300 ml. of half-skimmed milk (what the hell is that?)

- The first instruction says to, "Add slowly 2 grams of carrageenan while stirring, and avoid incorporating too much air." Avoid incorporating air? What? How?

- Oh, and the brochure from Cuisine Innovation once again shows type nearly impossible to read (black on brown) - fabulous.

Nope, don't think so. Mission aborted. FoodLab 2010 set to self-destruct, but not before somebody hears about this. Somebody named Cuisine Innovation and the oblivious outfit who sold this $70 snake oil in the first place, Oh yes, letters will be written. American pride is at stake and the people have a right to know when someone's been shittin' in their mouths and calling it glacer la crème.

Stay tuned.

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Laura Hahnefeld
Contact: Laura Hahnefeld