There, there, Jamie, at least you tried.
You came up $20,000 short of your financial goal to keep fresh food on the plastic cafeteria trays of Huntington School's youth, some of the parents called bullshit on your healthy school lunches by sending more of their kids to school with bags of jelly beans, soda pop, and cheese and crackers, Food Director Ronda -- dear, dead, pawn-of-the-system Ronda -- instituted "Processed Food Friday" (Thursday was taken with "Nerd Day") and put flavored milk (as bad as "fizzy pop") back into the coolers, and skeptical lunch lady Alice got hate mail for voicing her opinions (I know how she feels).
And while the problems of instituting your healthy eating system weren't sugar-coated (state and federal laws, not upsetting parents), until someone gets a spine or pushes back, Jamie's system will be difficult if not impossible to implement -- anywhere.
Sure, this above-average reality TV show finale had its moments of greatness, but here are a few pointers for next time:
No free concerts from bands with overweight members: Rascal Flatts? Seriously? Sure, it's nice they donated their time, but maybe Jamie should have given lead singer Gary LeVox a few healthy-cooking lessons before letting him get onstage.
What's up with the montage?: Hey, we don't have do end on a bad note! Let's divert everyone's attention to a confusing yet super-happy show-closing montage with fun music and endorsements for the Food Revolution from who-cares-celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow and Heidi Klum.
Get Back to Huntington: Jamie, go back to Huntington and keep checking in on them. For all of us.
Now here's the TV schedule for this week:
Monday (April 26)
Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives: "Surf 'n Turf." Guy visits a 40-year-old fish shack in Mayport, Florida, where shrimp is prepared nine different ways; a café in Manhattan Beach, California, serving Italian and Hawaiian dishes; and a 54-year-old diner in Reno that sells burgers by the pound. 10 p.m., Food Network (*Season 4 Opener!) Bizarre Foods With Andrew Zimmern: Andrew travels to the northeast region of Thailand known as Isan for a taste of rural Thai cuisine in the Season 4 opener. 10 p.m., Travel Channel
Tuesday (April 27)
Martha Stewart Show: "Rhubarb Recipes." Mira Sorvino helps prepare an upside-down cake featuring rhubarbs. 9 a.m., Channel 15, ABC
Chopped: "Dr. Deckle & Mr. Fried." The chefs must use jumbo shrimp in their appetizers; an unusual cut of beef in their entrees; and tofu skin in their desserts. 10 p.m., Food Network
Wednesday (April 28)
Tastiest Places to Chowdown: "Sweet Tooth." A look at the best places to satisfy sugar cravings. 11 a.m., Travel Channel
Top Chef Masters: "Cast and Crew Meal." Chief chefs Debbie Gold, Jody Adams, Maria Hines, Rick Tramonto and Susur Lee give a modern-day spin to classic dishes, then serve their culinary work to the cast and crew of TV's Modern Family. 10 p.m., Bravo
Thursday (April 29)
Sliced: "Confidential Kitchen." Kitchen appliances, including a refrigerator, a stove and a garbage disposal. 10:30 p.m., History Channel
Friday (April 30)
Rachael Ray: "Chef Mario Batali." Chef Mario Batali, American chef, writer, restaurateur, and media personality, cooks ribs. 4 p.m., Channel 5, CBS Private Chefs of Beverly Hills: "Challah Back." A chef gets a crash course in Kosher cooking before preparing a meal for an Orthodox Jewish family. Also: a hip L.A. designer wants the chefs to cater her best friend's surprise party; a bossy New Yorker and his business partner, a French denim designer, are hard to please. 10 p.m., Food Network
Saturday (May 1)
Spice & Easy: "Movie Night." Chicken-fajita pizza, Parmesan-mustard dip and Mexican brownies are prepared. 9:30 a.m., Food Network
Cooking for Real: "Yummy Impressions." Chicken drummies with caramelized onions and pavlova. 12 p.m., Food Network
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Sunday (May 2)
Alex's Day Off: "Alex's Favorite Brisket Recipe." Brisket topped with gremolata, served over couscous. Also: grape cake with a sweet honey topping. 9:30 a.m., Food Network
Big Daddy's House: "Mexican Madness." Mexican dishes, including chili-pork empanadas with avocado dipping sauce; boneless short-rib tacos with smoked peppers; spicy tomato Napoleons with grilled jalapeños and black beans. 1:30 p.m., Food Network
Iron Chef America: "Morimoto vs. Zakarian." A culinary battle between New York chef Geoffrey Zakarian and Iron Chef Masaharu Morimoto. 10 p.m., Food Network