Wake Up Call

Semenology Is the Art of Bartending with Man Sauce -- and There's a Cookbook

You might have already heard about Natural Harvest, a cookbook that features all sorts of sweet and savory recipes all of which feature one quite special ingredient, sperm. The book was released in 2011 and caused, as you can imagine, quite a fuss. But it seems author Paul "Fotie" Photenhauer had a lot more where that came from.

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He recently released a second book, Semenology -- The Semen Bartender's Handbook. Because naturally, what our cocktails have been missing all along was just a little more . . . spunk.

The cookbook is described as such on Amazon.com, where it's available for purchase for less than $15:

"This is the ultimate handbook for mixologists looking for ingredients that go beyond exotic fruit juices and rare spirits. Driven by a commitment and passion for the freshly harvested ingredient, Semenology pushes the limits of classic bartending. Semen is often freshly available behind most bar counters and adds a personal touch to any cocktail. The connoisseur will appreciate learning how to mix selected spirits to enhance the delicate flavors of semen. The book provides useful tips that cover every detail of Semenology, from mixing and presentation to harvesting and storage advice."

We're pretty sure every man could use some tips on semen presentation, but the best part of the book has got to be the drinks' names. Anyone up for an ice cold Galliano Cum Shot or a freshly prepared Macho Mojito? If it were up to us, we'd go with the very classy sounding Slightly Saltier Caviar.

The author told SF Weekly in an interview that he doesn't understand the social taboo on consuming semen (uh, clearly).

"If you want your partner to swallow, you should be willing to eat your own semen -- I mean, it's your semen," he told them.

He also pointed out that people eat lots of "weird shit." For example, eggs are technically the menstruation of chickens and milk is the lactation of cows. Which technically is true but we're still on convinced we want any liquid love with our booze.

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Lauren Saria
Contact: Lauren Saria