Wake Up Call

Sexcereal: The World's First "Gender-Based" Cereal

Sexcereal is a real thing, a granola-like cereal developed by "nutritional and quality control experts" and marketed at people who want health food to be sexier. No, really, that's what the Canadian entrepreneur who envisioned Sexcereal says on the company's webpage.

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Sexcereal is supposedly stocked with ingredients that promote sexual health. There are his and hers versions of the cereal to accommodate perceived variations between the genders when it comes to "things people need to eat to make babies."

The men's version of Sexcereal has ingredients like bee pollen, camu camu, and goji berries. The female version includes ginger, sunflower, and flax seeds. They claim that the male version helps "support testosterone" and the female version helps "support hormonal balance and then some." Because, apparently, the only gender that requires a healthy balance of hormones is women.

So is this sexy Sexcereal actually healthy? Somewhat. Common to both versions of Sexcereal is that they're both purported to contain a great deal of protein. Sadly, a quick check of their nutrition facts reveals that neither cereal actually has all that much protein per serving. The male version has 7 grams of protein and the female version has 6 grams. That's not terrible if you're looking for lots of protein, but it's not exactly earth-shaking, either. On the calorie side, the male version clocks in at 190 calories per serving to the female's 200. That's not terrible, but it's also not terribly good for you. For reference, that's about as many calories as you'll find in a roughly equivalent serving of Cap'n Crunch. One thing that Sexcereal does seem to excel at is getting you your vitamin C, a single serving apparently takes care of 50 percent of your daily requirement on that front.

It's implied in the advertising that Sexcereal will improve your health and, therefore, your sex life, but we have to wonder: Are they going to release a Post-sexcereal eventually? It seems unlikely that amorous couples are going to stumble out of bed, carefully select their gender appropriate cereal before stumbling back to bed, and getting comfortable. Is it possible that this is all a slick marketing ploy to convince people to buy two boxes of cereal every week? Only the Sexcereal people know for sure.

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Ando Muneno
Contact: Ando Muneno