Last Call

Why Martinis Suck (And What to Do About It)

Why is it so hard to get a good Martini in this town? Hell, why is it so hard to find a good Martini anywhere? For such a simple drink, you'd think you could saunter into any bar short of a sleazy dive and get a Martini done right. The effort it takes to make a memorable Martini is barely more than it takes to make one I'd rather forget. Here's what at least 90 percent of bartenders do that they shouldn't:

5: They Shake The Hell Out Of It. It happens to the best bartenders. Sometimes they get in over their heads, and they fall prey to a shortcut. In their frenzy, the bartender gives your Martini a good hard shake instead of a long stir. That shake introduces tiny air bubbles to the drink, lightening its texture. A Martini should be silky smooth on the tongue from a good stirring.

4: The Dreaded Courtesy Stir. The other side of shaking it is not stirring it enough. Gin needs the chill and dilution of melting ice as the drink is stirred; 20-30 seconds of vigorous stirring does the trick.

KEEP PHOENIX NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Phoenix New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Phoenix, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
JK Grence
Contact: JK Grence