Somebody forgot to tell Nintendo that "strenuous indoor exercise" does not top anyone's summer fun list. This, of course, does not explain why poor suckers everywhere are lining up for Wii Fit, an exhausting personal trainer disguised as a video game. Me? I'll be kicking back with Mario Kart Wii...
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Freakin’ A
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Pelican
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A One-Two Punch of Rock
Suzi Dodt, who sees dead people, is speed-talking about one of her "unidentifieds." "99-305 has a name, a family, a story, but we just don't know it yet," says Dodt, a death investigator with the Office of the Maricopa County Medical Examiner. "It's amazing and sad to me that no...
Once upon a time, people were allowed to be unhappy. Today, we have Deepak Chopra and Prozac and seminars that turn ordinary people into psychobabble-spouting Dr. Phil clones who say things like, "The way that you're showing up for me is as someone who's in denial about the trauma I've...
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Why do you suppose Mexico has such a hard time getting its act together? It has vast natural resources, good climate, natural ports, super-generous and good-looking neighbors, and plenty of laborers who seem to be willing to do all sorts of crappy jobs. But instead of having a thriving economy...
WHITE-TRASH WEENIE Like you needed more proof that immigrant-bashing nativists are low-life garbage. Noted Yosemite Sam impersonator "Buffalo" Rick Galeener was allegedly caught enjoying the pause that refreshes recently in front of some poor lady's house nearby the Macehualli Work Center on 25th Street, just south of Bell Road. A...
Somewhere out there in cyberspace is a guy who thinks Maricopa County Attorney Andrew Thomas is great — and he's sharing his love with Wikipedia readers. You know Wikipedia, that online encyclopedia where just about anyone can weigh in as an "expert" on anything? Well, our mystery writer is an...
Not long after I arrived in Phoenix, a strange site appeared as I traveled north on the 51. The Pots Along the Freeway were like a divine apparition to a suffering saint. First, I noticed a mammoth old-fashioned campfire coffee pot standing watch over oncoming traffic. Then I sighted a...
This past Monday, a pair of stone cold BFFs named King Khan and BBQ rolled through town on their way to god-knows-where, and man alive did the whole sordid affair ever stink of greatness. These two shifty characters are veterans of '90s garage-rockers the Spaceshits, where they were known by various pseudonyms (Blacksnake, Needles, Creepy, etc.) that have given way to this, their latest incarnation, the King Khan and BBQ Show.
Member papers of the Association of Alternative Newsweeklies (AAN) this week are providing links on their websites that direct their readers to the many places on the Internet where the home address of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio is listed. AAN papers are doing so to show solidarity with the...
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Heavy Meddle
Can someone cue "Three Blind Mice"? So Dylan Avery likes talking about balls, and doods with balls in their mouths. Hey, that's his mature way of responding to critics, by using all that homoerotic imagery floating around his noggin'. As Jerry Seinfeld might say, not that there's anything wrong with...
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Don’t Mind If I Do
Paris Troy Hotter than a Georgia firecracker; so hot you could bake bread on her back, or maybe a frozen pizza...uh, you get the picture. For some reason Thump Day Honey sounds a lot cooler than Hump Day Honey, and it also gives me an extra day to snag a...
OutNow By order of the almighty Gannett and its faithful servant John Zidich, journalism as you know it will now cease to exist! Below is the makeup of the Arizona Republic's new Information Center, the Orwellian Gannett construct which merges the newsroom with online, makes redundant a print paper, and...
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Geekology 101
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Wikimedia Commons The Kingdom and the Power, as long as you've got crossword puzzles and Disney teenyboppper tripe. Five-plus years since the largest terrorist attack on American soil, and readers of The New York Times, still the nation's most esteemed news source despite Jayson Blair's monkeywrenching, are more interested in...
courtesy Sumita Tomerlin Foxy Lady: Sumita loungin' it up... Wednesday is hard, and to get past it and closer to the weekend, we need help. That's my thinking behind my new Wed. feature: Hump Day Honeys. Every Wednesday, I'll feature some amazing babe from the Valley of the Sun along...
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How to Choose a Wine
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